Shades of Cool
by cosmicwasteland
Summary: The year is 1977. The Wizarding World is on the brink of war, but inside the walls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, teen angst rules. James Potter finds himself falling in love, Remus Lupin realizes life will never be as he expected, Peter Pettigrew is redrawing his battle lines, and Sirius Black... Well.
1. Ophelia

**Oh, Ophelia**

"We've lost him."

James Potter's face was sunburnt. He'd grown another two inches and his shoulders had broadened. The untameable disaster that was his hair simultaneously stood up and laid over his eyes, which were framed by broken spectacles. He'd taken a Quaffle to the face days before and hadn't bothered to fix them, though he knew the spell by heart. They added character, so he claimed, and James Potter was always interested in being interesting. The words had been spoken near to his left shoulder but he hadn't heard them at all. His eyes were trained on a group of girls congregating down the platform, all loud laughter and short skirts and flipping hair and what he could only assume was the smell of something sweet and floral and…

"Lily!"

… That was the word he was looking for.

The girl in question had just stepped through the stone pillar that led from their world to the next. Platform 9¾ took them from King's Cross station to the Hogwarts Express, the great scarlet steam engine that shooed them on their merry way towards education, or something of that sort. James was very sure what he attended was a school but rarely used it as such, as he was fairly occupied with the Quidditch pitch and the assorted broom closets.

Lily Evans was not sun burnt but evenly tanned, (of course, he thought bitterly, of course she's perfect). She too had grown, her sweater was a bit tighter, he noted with approval, and her hair was longer, that deep red was loose and wavy past her shoulders. He willed her to meet his gaze but she was focused on the group of girls, grinning and waving and hurrying towards them. Only when he saw what he was looking for did he look away. A wicked smile burst across his features as he turned to acknowledge his own group, three boys of varying height who stared at him skeptically.

"Yes, she's here," the one beside him sighed. He ran a hand through his mop of carelessly disheveled jet black hair. A younger girl walking past him watched in awe as it slid back into place with great ease, momentarily revealing classically handsome features and a permanently pompous smirk.

"She's not _just_ here," James explained excitedly. "She's Head Girl. I can see her badge."

"Oh Jesus fuck…"

"Is that his full name?" inquired the third boy, amused. His shoulders were hunched with equal parts exhaustion and the weight of the books in his arms. Beside him, a portly blonde whose forehead shone with sweat sniggered. The handsome one rolled his eyes, gesturing towards the books.

"Bit of light reading?"

"Trying to regrow some of the brain cells I lost with you prats this summer."

What Moony lacked in traditional cool points he supplemented with well executed and calmly delivered insults, which greatly amused his friends.

"Padfoot, Moony, behave yourselves," James said distractedly, his eyes travelling back to Lily, particularly her skirt. "Perhaps you don't remember that I am your Head Boy and I will dock House points if necessary…."

Padfoot and Moony snorted simultaneously.

"... And as your Head Boy I will enjoy plenty of quality time with the Head Girl…"

"How very exciting for you," Padfoot drawled. "Can't wait to hear all about it. Today Lily breathed in my general direction…."

Moony chimed in. "Today Lily told me told me to sod off…."

The fourth boy giggled. "Today Lily…."

But James paid no mind, as Lily Evans had been the reluctant focus of his affection for the past six years and finally in this, their last year at Hogwarts, she would be forced to devote at the very least a semblance of attention towards him. There could be no go away Potter, no that's enough Potter, only long hours in the Head's offices and romantic walks to Dumbledore's office and the added pressure of being the Heads (they would weather the storm together, of that he was certain). He sighed and dreamily thought of the ride ahead of them, where he and Lily would conduct a prefect meeting in the Head compartment. In his daydream he spoke eloquently, perfectly displaying his leadership, and she would realize with awe that he was the man she'd been searching for all along.

"We've lost him again," said Padfoot, but he was scanning the platform with narrowed eyes, searching the crowd of students and parents chattering loudly amid the steam from the train. "Speaking of the birds, has anyone seen McKinnon?"

Moony frowned and glanced quickly around the platform. "Now that you mention it, no. Wormtail, have you seen McKinnon?"

"No," he said quickly, relieved at his acknowledgement. "Not yet."

They called themselves the Marauders, and they prided themselves on being quite the exclusive club. Like all respectable clubs they came equipped with nicknames, alibis, getaway plans, and their fair share of secrets, none of which were easily divulged. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were well known and critically acclaimed, and they had every intention of ending their seventh year at Hogwarts with a bang. Several, even.

The train sounded from behind them. A group of first years squealed and jumped beside them, scampering towards it. Moony watched them go with a certain fondness before turning to James.

"Well, Head Boy. Lead the way."

 **You've Been On My Mind Girl, Since The Flood**

Sirius Black, fondly known as Padfoot, was not a prefect. Nowhere near it, to be frank. He was, however, very good looking, and he possessed a charm that had every witch in a mile radius nearly fainting at the sight of him. And so, when he bid his dear friends Prongs and Moony farewell at the entrance of the Hogwarts Express's main hall, he passed a group of young witches who flushed red and scurried into the nearest compartment. His ego grew one size.

Lugging their trunks behind them, Sirius and Wormtail made their way down the crowded hall to the back of the train, where the last compartment on the left sat unofficially reserved. They slid into it, grunting, and heaved their trunks inside. Wormtail slid the glass door closed and sighed, easing himself onto the seat. Sirius sat opposite him. He stared absentminded into the hall, watching his fellow students find compartments and slam the doors closed, eager to catch up on the summer's gossip. He enjoyed observing the excitement the opening of fall term brought. It faded so quickly with the onslaught of classes.

"Alright, Black?"

He and Wormtail looked up to see a slim brunette standing in the now open doorway, her almond shaped eyes fixed carefully on Sirius. He grinned at her, folding his arms behind his head as he relaxed into the seat.

"Fantastic. And you, Vance?"

"The same, as always. Have you seen Marlene McKinnon?"

A calculated, carefree frown. "I haven't. I'm not her keeper, you see."

Emmeline Vance knew very well Sirius Black was unaware of the whereabouts of one Marlene McKinnon, but she persevered, on the hunt for a juicy strip of gossip to share with the girls of Gryffindor house.

As if there hadn't been enough to talk about.

"Lily Evans was looking for her."

"Well you tell Evans when I see her I'll send her her way," Sirius said, his voice toeing a dangerous edge though he attempted to remain still. Emmeline, sensing this, smiled sweetly.

"Thanks, mate."

With that she was gone, leaving an air of tension in the compartment Sirius chose to ignore. Wormtail, knowing better, joined him.

"Bitch," he mumbled. Sirius nodded in agreement. "Like we give a damn where McKinnon is."

"Right you are, Wormy. Exploding Snap?"

He pulled a deck of enchanted cards from the pocket of his jeans and they commenced not caring, sliding into cross legged positions on the floor, one thinking about the cards, the other (reluctantly) thinking about McKinnon.

 **Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love**

The thing with Pureblood purity was that there were certain traits each family carried for generations that distinguished them, making their status known. The red hair possessed by the Weasley's, the Potter's lanky build and knack for Quidditch, the Black's sense of superiority paired with storm grey eyes. This made the tidal wave of platinum blonde hair advancing on James all the more recognizable.

"Darling," he greeted her with a sigh. "How I've missed you."

The McKinnons were blonde, bright, and arrogant. Marlene, the youngest daughter, exemplified all of this.

"Still haven't fixed your glasses, I see," she quipped, hands on her hips. She'd been the one to gracefully toss the Quaffle directly into his face. It hadn't been on purpose, but it also wasn't an accident. James had received notice that he would be Head Boy, and not only this, but Quidditch captain, a position she'd had her hopes set on. When the news arrived by owl over the summer, Marlene had locked herself in her bedroom for two days. James had eventually coaxed her out with the promise of a co-captaining position, which would do, but was not what she wanted. "Careful, _Captain_."

"Don't be so bitter, Marlie," he smiled. His fondness for McKinnon was no secret, she was after all the sister he'd asked for and never received. She'd grown up just over the hill from the Potters, and until very recently had carried the title of honorary Marauder. "Didn't see you on the platform."

"Well, you wouldn't have," she said with a smirk, pulling a familiar, shining piece of cloth from her bag and handing it to him. "Thank you."

"Never tell him I helped you," he muttered as he stuffed his trusty invisibility cloak. "It was for his own good."

"His? What about mine?"

James rolled his eyes. "Don't get me involved in his mess, I have greater matters to attend to."

He nodded his head towards the Heads compartment, which was gradually filling with prefects and already contained a certain flame haired Head Girl.

"You didn't tell her I made Head Boy, did you?"

"And ruin the surprise? I would never…"

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Not nearly enough. Shall we discuss Quidditch tryouts?"

"Did you mean assisted suicide?" he asked with a grimace. "Slim prospects this year."

She nodded gravely. "Choose wisely, _Captain_. We'll talk later. I'm off to find the girls."

With a swift kiss to his cheek, she started down the hall away from him. There was a peculiar heaviness in his chest he chose to ignore as he watched her go, praying she did not pass the last compartment on the left.


	2. What Makes Us Girls

**This Is What Makes Us Girls**

"And where have you been?"

The question came as she slid the door of the compartment (second to last, on the right) closed behind her. She flashed a winning smile as she threw herself into the nearest available seat, next to a slim brunette called Emmeline. She wasn't particularly fond of Emmeline Vance, too nosy for her liking, but they'd shared a dormitory for so long she'd grown used to her presence. Lily Evans, her personal favorite, would have told her to be diplomatic and dignified if she'd been there to see the snide sideways glance she tossed towards the girl. The only witness was Mary McDonald, who suppressed a snort. Mary wasn't the specific brand of social justice warrior Evans was. She was the perfect combination of Emmeline and Marlene herself, just the right amount of gossip and mystery, and Marlene liked her just as well.

"Oh, around," she simpered, crossing her arms over her chest. Emmeline smirked.

"Classic McKinnon."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never revealing your secrets," Vance teased, to which Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"That's why they're called secrets, dear."

"Ladies, ladies…."

Dorcas Meadowes, preserver of peace, sat next to Mary across from Emmeline and Marlene. She had little to no patience for girl on girl rivalry, specifically within the same dormitory. Marlene cleared her throat, quick to change the subject. She quite liked Dorcas as well. It was Emmeline where the problem lay, Emmeline and her loose lips.

Girls.

She never got along with them as well as boys, honestly. Save for Lily Evans, she couldn't name a single close female friend. She liked her roommates and all, but she preferred to spend her time with boys, specifically James Potter and his merry Marauders who had all but adopted her until a string of recent events had them banishing her back to Girl World, where she presently sat. Reluctantly so. Funny, how she'd roomed with Mary, Dorcas, Lily and Emmeline all these years and only genuinely taken to Lily. Probably because everyone genuinely took to Lily, but she liked to think that she was special.

She had made an error, apparently, in not getting to know them. As last year's events unfurled and turned her into fodder for the wheel of gossip she had very few people to turn to, and she started the year unaware of her social standing. Seventh year and she wasn't even sure who her friends were.

 _Sad_ , she thought bitterly, crossing her legs as conversation faded into summer stories and talk of classes. She was grateful, at least, that nobody had brought up that the last time she'd sat with them on the ride to school was second year. Everyone seemed to be aware of her predicament, if she judged accurately from the whispers and stares following her down the corridor. She wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. Though certainly she hoped it meant they would leave her alone.

 **We Don't Look For Heaven and We Put Our Love First**

Lily Evans had an agenda.

It was rare that she didn't. This was the year, however, she could act upon it.

Lily Evans was partial to control. It was something she enjoyed greatly, the ability to manipulate a scenario with her marionette strings, not that she herself would be considered manipulative, no... Just right. Almost always. Standing in the bathroom of the Hogwarts Express, straightening the shiny Head Girl badge she'd received over the summer, she signed with great contentment. The conclusion of her magical education would involve top marks, sparkling extracurriculars, the honor of being both prefect and now Head Girl, all of which dazzled on her resume which would no doubt grant her entrance into the field of her choice upon graduation. She would proceed to dominate said field, rising quickly to the top, they would possibly erect a statue in her honor...

The train lurched forward and she blinked, snapping from her fantasies.

"Enough of that," she murmured to herself, running a hand through her hair. She wondered briefly again who the Head Boy was. She'd never found out, not out of disinterest but distraction. Finishing up the heaping amounts of schoolwork she'd been assigned over the summer had consumed the majority of her time. If it hadn't been for her friends occasionally tossing rocks at her window she wouldn't have been outside at all. But her skin was slightly tanned, the freckles spread across her nose had darkened. It made her hair seem brighter in contrast, the deep red she'd tried to transfigure into blonde once second year.

With a quick stroke of panic she realized she'd stared herself down for just moment too long. Hurriedly, she exited the bathroom and started a brisk walk to the Heads cabin, butterflies floating nervously in her stomach as she tried to guess who the Head Boy could be. She had a sinking suspicion it was Severus Snape, a formerly dear friend (more on that later), a small, fleeting hope it was Remus Lupin, a fellow prefect whose company she quite enjoyed (again, more later). She could see the shadows of the prefects just beyond the compartment door. Again, she smoothed her skirt, took a deep breath, and stepped into the compartment with a smi-

No.

Oh God no.

Leaning against the wall opposite her with a Head Boy badge pushed to the side of his Quidditch Captain badge (one was clearly more important than the other) with a moptop of black hair and a crooked grin was James Potter.

"No," she whispered. He raised his eyebrows.

"Nice to see you too," he joked with an easy shrug. Beside him was Remus, who she looked towards immediately for comfort. He stared back her sympathetically, offering a similar shrug.

"We were just as surprised as you," Remus confessed. "We" had to be the Marauders, a group that lived in infamy, the polygamous marriage between James, Remus, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black, who once charmed her skirt to lift their second year. She was not their greatest fan nor their mortal enemy, they reserved that for members of their rival house. She seemed to be protected by a powerful force, for after the skirt lifting incident, they'd very much left her to herself.

Except James.

James Potter fancied Lily Evans and didn't care who knew it. James Potter fancied Lily Evans and once set off a firework of her name during Astronomy. James Potter fancied Lily Evans and called out to her in the hallway every time they passed. James Potter fancied Lily Evans and swan dove towards the ground at the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match just to flash her a winning grin. James Potter fancied Lily Evans and once arranged for sixteen bouquets of roses to be delivered to her on her birthday, one for every year on Earth, which very much put off her boyfriend at the time. James bloody Potter fancied Lily Evans, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it except roll her eyes and date members of Ravenclaw house, who she respected for their studious nature, opposed to the general hijinks of and trouble surrounding one James Potter, who had clearly put Professor Dumbledore under the Imperius curse to get that badge.

"Alright, Evans?"

This came from James. She knew it because this is what he said to her before he asked her out, this is what all of their interactions began with. _Alright, Evans?_ She heard it in her sleep.

She was staring directly into the soul of a new Hufflepuff prefect who looked equal parts terrified and confused.

"Why is she looking at me," the boy mumbled from the corner of his mouth to the girl beside him. She leaned in.

"I don't think she knows…."

"Evans, you're frightening the children."

This, again, was James, whose tone was playful and teasing. Her face flushed the same shade as her hair.

"Shall we begin the meeting?" Remus asked hopefully. With this, Lily snapped from her James Potter induced stupor. Nobody, especially him, would take this from her.

"Right," she said briskly. "Right."

 **Don't Cry About It, Don't Cry About It…**

It was approximately thirty seven minutes into the school year when Sirius Black managed to procure a black eye. The Hogwarts Express plowed steadily through sheets of rain he could only view as foreshadowing, and he stumbled (swaggered, really) out of the Slytherin compartment refusing to nurse his injury. Instead he wore it like a badge of honor, strolling down the hall to the last compartment on the left, which to his knowledge was reserved. A group of Ravenclaw girls caught his eye on the way down. They took him in with hanging jaws and the strong desire to whisper, he smirked and nodded his head at them, very aware of the blood trickling down his cheek.

So very cool, and all that.

When he reached the compartment he slid the door open to reveal one Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sitting on the floor, involved in a vigorously competitive round of Exploding Snap. They glanced up to acknowledge his presence and reacted accordingly.

"Already?" Remus groaned, falling against the seat behind him.

"You left me unattended," Sirius offered simply. Remus's eyes narrowed.

"Can't take yourself to the bathroom?"

Sirius grinned. "Can't take me anywhere."

His friends rolled their eyes simultaneously and returned to their game, no questions asked, as was their policy. It was assumed that he was met by members of their rival house, it was assumed said members included but were not limited to Evan Rosier and Zacharias Avery, who shared Sirius's affinity for physical violence. It was also assumed that Sirius had instigated the fight, as was his usual want.

"Are they coming after you?"

This came from Peter, who clearly was not in the mood for a House war so early on in the year. Sirius shrugged in response, took his seat by the window and watched as rain pounded down on the enchanted glass. Absentmindedly, he reached up to touch the blood on his face. He pulled his hand back to examine his crimson coated fingertips, a small smile playing at his lips.

"You're a sadist, you know," Remus remarked with a sigh. He tossed his hand of cards to the ground and rose. Pulling his wand from his pocket, he pointed the tip at his friend's cheek, siphoning off the remaining blood. "You'll have to see Pomfrey for the eye."

"I like the eye."

"Of course you do."

"It's aesthetically pleasing."

Remus took the seat opposite him. Peter remained on the floor, eyes trained on the door in anticipation of intruders. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, save for Peter, whose eyes darted from the door to Sirius as if he expected Rosier to crawl out from underneath his robes. The same group of Ravenclaw girls Sirius had strutted past moments before were now walking past their compartment. One of them, a petite brunette with large glasses, stole a glance at the man in question. When he met her eyes and smirked she blushed furiously. Remus snorted.

"Any sign of Prongs yet?" Sirius asked, stretching across the seat that usually occupied two.

Remus grinned slyly. "Still in talks with the Head Girl, I believe."

By some miracle of God James Potter had been made Head Boy. James Potter, king of the lost boys, had managed to weasel his way into Dumbledore's good graces and snagged himself a badge. When it arrived over the summer they'd nearly fallen off their brooms, crashing down to Earth in fits of laughter while Mrs. Potter watched them with raised eyebrows, arms crossed over her chest and the badge in her hand. He was, therefore, missing from their reserved compartment. James, Sirius thought, would have appreciated the eye.

Remus had returned from the prefects meeting with a glorious recountment of the moment Lily Evans saw Prongs was Head Boy which had them roaring with laughter for several minutes. But Sirius, with Emmeline's prodding still fresh in his mind, had gone off "to the bathroom", which his friends very well knew equated to trouble, but they let him go because Sirius Black was not one to be casually stopped.

More on that later.


	3. Breezeblocks

**She May Contain The Urge To Run Away**

Lily and James stood alone in the Head's compartment, having dismissed the prefects after a successful meeting. He'd let her do most of the talking, as she'd come prepared with the first month of rounds planned out neatly on parchment. Instead he took most of the time to sidelong stare at her ass as it moved up and down the compartment with the rest of her, only coming to when she turned to him and crisply asked if he had anything to add. He didn't, but he grinned at her in a way he hoped assured her he'd been listening the whole time. He waited for the prefects to flood out, chatting to their rounds partners, before he advanced towards her. Remus met his eyes and raised his eyebrows, gesturing down the hall towards their compartment. He assured him he'd be there in a minute, nodded towards Lily, and all was understood.

"Potter," she said with dry surprise, turning to slip her parchment into her bag.

"Evans."

With that, he extended his hand. Her eyes, emerald green, moved precariously from his outstretched hand to his expression, which was uncharacteristically sincere.

"I'd like to propose a truce," he said simply. "We'll be spending a lot of time together and I'd like to keep things as… Professional as possible."

She waited for his eyes to give him away, some kind of smirk, anything to betray the seriousness of it all, but James Potter did not give. He stared back at her and did not waver. She thought it wise to grasp his hand, head tilted thoughtfully.

"I would like that, Potter."

Their hands remained clasped. He mentally took note of this.

"You can call me James. It won't burn."

Still clasped. Something like victory boiled in his chest. To his great pleasure, she laughed.

"Let's work our way up to that."

With that, they withdrew their hands. She turned back to her bag, pleasantly surprised by his near gentlemanly behavior. This would make their inevitable rounds together much more bearable, she'd feared having to deflect his advances at every turn. But before she could compliment him, mentally or otherwise, the smell of cigarette smoke filled the compartment. She slid the strap of her bag over her shoulder and turned slowly to see him exhaling a cloud of smoke, the cigarette in question twined between his fingers.

"Do you mind?" she quipped. He met her eyes as he pulled on the cigarette. Her nose was scrunched with distaste.

"Sorry, did you want one?"

She scoffed as she headed towards the door. "Nasty habit…"

"I can think of worse," he said thoughtfully, stroking his chin. She rolled her eyes. He was, after all, still James Potter, smoking in the Head's compartment, tousling his hair and grinning at her like he held the world between his Quidditch-calloused fingertips. Though she appreciated his "truce", she reminded herself that he was a specific kind of person, the kind of person who pranked and prodded, and those people had a tendency not to change. She set her expectations low for him, as she always had.

"Potter," she said as goodbye. She slid the compartment door open.

He watched her carefully. She did not falter.

"Evans."

 **Hold Her Down With Soggy Clothes and Breezeblocks**

As the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade Station, several things happened at once.

James Potter offered a truce to a wary Lily Evans, who shook his hand carefully with much doubt. Remus Lupin received a rough shove to the shoulder by one Evan Rosier, to which Sirius Black shoved back. Marlene McKinnon stood with the Gryffindor girls, wishing desperately she still possessed James's invisibility cloak. All of the above mentioned followed the flood of chattering students from the train to the platform, each one braced against the violent wind, voices drowned out by the downpour. Instinctively, Marlene craned her neck for James and was pleasantly surprised to see him one step behind Lily with a small grin on his face. Lily, however, looked resigned to whatever fate she'd been presented with. Her grimace was taught and telling and Marlene allowed herself to laugh at this.

"What's so funny?"

Emmeline stood behind her, pulling the hood of her cloak over her hair. The wind roared around them, slapping them with gusts of cold air from every direction. Mary and Dorcas plowed forward towards the carriages with great intent, motioning for Emmeline and Marlene to follow. Marlene reluctantly headed off with them, longing for the Marauder's carriage but knowing all too well that she was no longer welcome. She waited for Lily to abandon her duty of shepherding the first years though she knew that was an impossibility. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably with the knowledge that the inevitable was approaching. She was very visible now, even with her cloak pulled tight around her that McKinnon hair betrayed her, and she attempted to ignore the whispers and jabs that followed her down the platform with an air of dignity her scowl gave away. Emmeline, dissatisfied with the lack of of an answer, moved on to idle chit chat with Mary, one eye trained on Marlene, who was stone faced in pursuit of the carriages.

"Watch yourself!" came a bark from their left. Marlene felt as if ice had been dropped down her spine. She dared to steal a glance and immediately felt vomit rise in her throat the sight of the back of Sirius Black's head. Remus Lupin had been sent crashing to the pavement. Peter Pettigrew quickly helped him up, sending a scornful look over his shoulder. Sirius was advancing on Evan Rosier, whose smirk had ignited a spark, with his wand drawn.

"It's not worth it, Padfoot," Remus was saying as he got to his feet. His teeth were gritted. "They aren't worth it."

A small crowd of curious onlookers paused to stare at them. A Marauder and a Slytherin facing off was alway a source of entertainment. Beside Rosier a prefect with slick black hair scoffed.

"Did you have something to say, Snivellus?" Sirius seethed, turning his wand to the boy.

"Drawing a wand on a prefect, Black?" Severus Snape asked with a snide grin. "Unwise even for you."

Remus wrapped a hand around Sirius's forearm. "Come on."

There was a moment in which it appeared Sirius may fight back, a familiar shade of violence reflected in his eyes as he spun back towards the carriages…

And that was how the unwanted eye contact of Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon came to be, he enraged and she annoyed, for a brief moment connected on the platform. His jaw went slack upon the sight of her. Remus followed his gaze and tightened his grip, steering him in the opposite direction. She froze. An underclassmen stumbled and crashed into her, backing up apologetically. She brushed her off, having felt nothing but Sirius Black's seething stare.

She watched it happen.

He broke eye contact with her, cocked his fist back, and landed a swift punch directly on Evan Rosier's jaw.

That was when hell broke loose.

 **Disinfect the Scene My Love**

James Potter had done a fantastic job of ushering the first years to the boats, if he did say so himself. Everyone had been seated safely and efficiently, all lined up in a row. He'd waved hello to Hagrid, feeling rather content with himself, having presented his case for maturity to one Lily Evans and succeeded. A truce, a call for professionalism in honor of their recent partnership that had her squinting towards him as if she couldn't see him amongst all that new light. He'd extended his hand and made the promise: he would not relentlessly pursue her, instead campaigning for friendship. She'd nearly smiled, he swore he saw it, it twisted up the corner of her rosebud mouth and he'd watched it with great interest. Her skin was soft against his Quidditch-calloused fingertips and he'd revelled in the way she didn't immediately withdraw her hand.

Lovely.

It couldn't stay this way, of course. He'd followed her off the train but didn't anticipate a conversation. She snapped into her Head Girl persona and began herding the first years towards the boats, he behind her, thumbing the pack of cigarettes tucked into the pocket of his robes. It was time for a smoke, you see, he typically used the time between the train and the carriages to inhale a quick one, he wouldn't have another opportunity until he reached the dormitory and the nicotine fit was beginning to stir in his chest. The weather wasn't permitting, for one, for seconds Lily Evans would not have approved of his smoking around the children, for thirds there was a violent batch of whispering going on, something about Sirius Black and Evan Rosier and a finely landed punch. And he almost forgot about both Lily Evans and the ickle first years because the need for a smoke intensified. He tossed a glance over his shoulder to confirm that yes, the first years had been sent off in the boats and yes, Lily had already begun to shake the rain from her hair (lovely), so yes, he could proceed to push through the advancing crowd, rain blowing directly into his face.

"Oi Prongs!"

This was Peter, standing on the tips of his toes to summon his leader forward. James nodded in acknowledgement, finally joining up with a seething Sirius Black and an exasperated Remus Lupin. They grunted in greeting, finally reaching the covered carriages and piling in after each other into the nearest, relieved to be momentarily protected from the rain. Immediately, James retrieved a cigarette and slid it between his lips, lighting the tip with his wand. He extended the pack to Sirius, who took one gratefully, and lit his as well. The carriage heaved forward with a start.

"So," James began. "The eye is very nice."

Sirius grunted again.

"Did you collect that on the train?"

"We've just seen Marlene," Peter said quietly. James raised his eyebrows.

"Ah."

The fell into smokey silence, thoughtfully brooding.

"She looks well," Remus offered. Sirius shot him a severe look.

"I don't care if she's well," he growled, arms folded over his chest. The cigarette was twined between his fingers. "In fact I hope she isn't."

He looked to James for affirmation, but he only raised his hands in protest. "You know my McKinnon policy. I want no part of your tragic affairs."

"Some best friend you are," came the disapproving grumble. James rolled his eyes automatically.

"The drama, the drama…."

"You know who's looking well?" Remus quipped conversationally. "Lily Evans."

Peter and Sirius groaned simultaneously.

"She is, isn't she?" grinned James. "Little bit of a shock for her, finding me as Head Boy…."

"Her head actually spun around, I saw it," Remus mused. James and Peter laughed, Sirius continued to suck the soul from his cigarette with dangerously narrowed eyes.

"I'm a gentleman, lads, I offered a truce."

"What kind of truce?"

"I promised her I'm done asking her out," he said, proud, exhaling a cloud of smoke. His friends stared back at him skeptically. "I'm serious!"

"I'm serious," Sirius muttered.

"There's my boy!"

"So witty."

"We'll take what we can get, won't we?" Peter sighed. They launched into a discussion of Evan Rosier, Siris recounting his _random encounter_ with the Slytherin boys, how the fight had begun simply over Quidditch stats and spiraled into the underlying truth: Sirius Black was thirsty for confrontation, there was a lion within his chest (no pun intended) that clawed at his ribs even as they spoke. Her ghost followed him, her absence amplified by the heaviness that clung to the air around him. Another puff of smoke, from him or James he wasn't sure. Remus coughed and sent him an accusing glance that he ignored. Moony was a good boy, he'd sneak a cigarette if the Firewhisky was flowing but typically remained on the straight and narrow, as was his want. Peter on the other hand would help himself if so inclined, though he didn't consider himself a smoker. He eyed James's cigarette thoughtfully, waiting for an offer that came late.

"Apologies, Wormtail," James grinned, offering him the pack. He accepted gratefully. The rain beat relentlessly against the carriage, steadily climbing towards Hogwarts. "This is it, boys. Our last ride up in the carriages."

"Oh not this," Remus groaned. "Everything is a last."

"Our last Welcoming Feast…."

"Our last sorting…."

"Our last-"

"Shut up!"


	4. Wolves

**Lost Out, Beat Up**

Word travelled fast, and soon everyone was up to date on the most recent Marauder mishap. Lily Evans, who had caught word of this on her way to the carriage she'd just seen Marlene McKinnon duck into, rolled her eyes heartily and began to prepare herself for losing House points before the year had even begun. Sure enough, McGonagall would have caught word by the time the carriages reached the castle. She'd be stone faced and subtly disappointed as she greeted her seventh years, and this bothered Lily, because she very much respected her Transfiguration professor. Lily Evans was partial to the rules, with her eyes set on the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and something inside her splintered when they were broken. She had been known to occasionally bend a rule herself but only, only ever, for the greater good.

One hand over her face to shield herself half-heartedly from the rain, she slid into the carriage moments after Marlene to find Dorcas, Mary and Emmeline shaking with cold and swearing to themselves. Marlene wore an expression of vile disdain, Emmeline eyed her carefully. Dorcas and Mary were chatting lightly, turning to acknowledge her entrance with slight smiles. Lily settled herself next to Marlene, who was pulling a cigarette from the inside pocket of her robes as the carriage started forward.

"Please, Mar, not in the closed carriage," Lily begged. The blonde had already rested the cigarette between her lips, full and pink, and her eyes narrowed at this. "I'm so pleased to have you with us, really, but I can't stand the smell."

She sighed, stuck the offending cigarette behind her ear and crossed her arms over her chest. "Only because I love you."

Lily grinned. "What an honor from the beast. What's with the face?"

"We've just seen Sirius Black," Emmeline said casually. Marlene's eyes narrowed even further if possible, dangerously awaiting the next comment. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Ah."

Mary and Dorcas had now suddenly sprung to attention.

"He looks… Well," offered Dorcas. Marlene sneered.

"I don't care if he's well. In fact, I hope he isn't."

She looked towards Lily for support, but the Head Girl only shook her head and smiled softly. "I won't choose sides, it's not fair…."

"Oh Lily the politician." Mary teased. "Our first female Minister….."

"One can dream," Lily grinned. She glanced over at Marlene, brooding in silence, and rested a comforting hand on her knee. "Isn't it nice to have Marlene with us?"

And the girls agreed, loudly, reassuringly, and Marlene McKinnon felt a flicker of warmth in the pit of her hollowed out stomach, and the rain beat down on the the hood of the carriage relentlessly and she felt it in her soul. Mood weather. She longed for the cigarette tucked behind her ear, thought of James and Sirius (and probably Peter) puffing and pulling and mucking about. The girls had fallen into idle conversation. She mentally thanked them for being so accepting. They'd known each other for quite a long time, slept in the same dormitory, borrowed the occasional hair brush. They must have known, somewhere inside them, that she wasn't all bad. She wasn't what everyone said, and that was what she'd told herself the sleepless night before the train departed, feeling very much like a friendless first year at seventeen. There was of course Emmeline, the wolf in sheep's clothing, eager to tear her apart. Marlene thought, with a small smile to herself, she had dealt with better wolves.

 **Too Wild**

"Black!"

Professor McGonagall stood amongst a throng of pulsating students, gathering the first years for the sorting. She'd been momentarily briefed on a fight on the platform and told that the instigators had been of her house, news she greeted with a grimace that held no surprise. When she spotted Sirius Black in the company of a black eye, she sighed darkly and advanced on him.

"Professor!" he chirped cheerily. "Nothing to see here, nothing to see…."

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week of detention, I think," she said stiffly. He shrugged. Beside him, Remus Lupin bit his tongue. Peter Pettigrew pressed his lips into a thin line. James Potter offered a warm smile.

"And how was your summer, Professor?"

Her eyes moved to Potter, who bounced casually on his heels. "Very relaxing. I would like to stay in that state of mind."

"Have you tried meditation? I hear it's very effective."

She resisted the urge to simultaneously smile and roll her eyes, maintaining her poise. "On your way, boys."

As the good professor retreated, the Marauders turned inward. James had begun to whistle.

"Your cheer is bringing me down Prongs," Sirius grumbled. Jame clapped a hand to his shoulder.

"Oh, come on. It's a beautiful night-"

Outside, a clap of thunder shook the grounds.

"- there's a fresh crop of firsties-"

An aforementioned firstie, all of eleven years old, overhead this and looked momentarily terrified.

"- we're in good health -"

Peter gave a great, smoke induced cough.

"- there's a wealth of opportunity, all around us!"

Marlene McKinnon walked by, flanked by the seventh year girls, all seemingly blocking her view of the Marauders. Sirius's handsome face darkened. Heavy silence fell over them amidst the excitement of the new term. James raked a hand through his hair, his bulleted list of optimism was faltering quicker than he'd planned.

"How the hell," Sirius grimaced, "am I supposed to get anything done with that blonde tart walking around…."

"What exactly were you intending to get done?" Remus asked with slight amusement. Sirius's eyes remained on the back of Marlene's head.

"I was thinking," he mused, "that Emmeline Vance was looking well."

"Dangerous territory," said James.

"She talks too much," concluded Peter thoughtfully. Sirius grinned in a wicked sort of way.

"You think so? I think she talks just enough."

"I want no part of this," sighed Moony, turning towards the Great Hall. "I'll get our seats."

"Are they not reserved?" James asked lightly.

Remus chanced a look at Sirius, who was lost in whatever scheme he was currently concocting.

"... I'll get our seats."

 **Too Wild**

Marlene McKinnon took a seat next to Lily Evans with her eyes trained on the stool boasting the sorting hat and allowed herself to think back to the previous year. Strange, how things could change so suddenly and seemingly without her permission. She had sat with the Marauders on the train, shared cigarettes in the carriage. It hadn't been raining then, it was a perfectly lovely pre fall evening. She had walked into school flanked by James Potter and Sirius Black, arms linked. There had been no fight on the platform, just a few stolen, dirty glances. There had been no black eyes. There was laughter, an abundance of it, over something Peter had said. And she had taken her seat between Remus and Sirius at the back of the table. They whispered and joked through the sorting. As it had always been, every year until now.

Her heart hurt with something like regret.

"Oh fuck em," Lily whispered in her ear. She allowed a small smile. "I for one am glad to have you here."

"You might be the only one," Marlene sighed quietly, nodding towards Emmeline, who was immersed in conversation with Dorcas. "You know who I miss?"

"Who?"

"Alice and Frank. So odd here without them."

"Ah, but they're training to battle the Death Eaters," Lily mused. "Off to bigger and better things…"

"Wish I was with them…"

"Oh, well fuck me too," said Lily, and Marlene laughed.

"Look at you, pottymouth!"

Lily poked her tongue out jokingly. The persistent chatter around them began to die down as the sorting began. Professor McGonagall stood before the staff table with a long scroll. They listened to the sorting hat's song, something about bravery in dark times, the same warning it had been giving since the rise of the Death Eaters two years prior. Marlene often wondered how Lily felt about all of it, the pureblood purity, as one of the few muggleborns at Hogwarts. Marlene herself was pureblood. She came from an old wizarding family, the kind with midsummer balls and vaults upon vaults of gold and short of a hundred cousins she barely knew. Maybe it was some kind of privilege, how she'd never felt threatened by the uprising of the Death Eaters and Voldemort, their leader. She disagreed with their practice but remained unafraid. Lily Evans rarely showed fear in a general sense, and that was something Marlene had always admired about her, but deep down….

"Alonzo, Danielle!"

A mousy brunette stepped forward, obviously shaking. She took a seat on the stool and McGonagall placed the hat upon her head.

" _ **Hufflepuff!**_ "

The Hufflepuff table erupted in cheers and the girl raced off to join them.

"Bathe, Jordan!"

" _ **Slytherin!**_ "

Marlene snorted. "Off goes another future Death Eater."

Lily shook her head, her small smile full of patience. "Not all Slytherins are bad."

There were many things to admire about Lily Evans, Marlene thought.

This was one of them.

 **Too Wild**

"Look at her, just fucking sitting there."

"How absolutely dastardly," Remus drawled sarcastically, his chin in his palm. Sirius grumbled as he pushed his food around his plate. The spread before them was magnificent as always, heaps of food prepared by the house elves. Pete's plate overflowed onto the table. James helped himself to another slice of shepard's pie.

"Padfoot," he said thoughtfully with his fork in the air. "Allow me to preface this criticism with how much I positively adore you…."

"Preface, very good word," Sirius interrupted.

"...Thank you, I thought so too. Anyway, I positively adore you and as charming as I find your thirst for revenge on my dearest Marlene-"

A snort. An eye roll. A shove of mashed potatoes in an open mouth.

Three ways, respectively.

"- If any of this, pardon my French, _absolute fucking bullshit_ infiltrates my Quidditch pitch, I will not hesitate to hex you midair."

"Point taken, Prongs."

"Good man."

"But, hypothetically speaking…"

"I never liked that much."

"If my bat were to slip," Sirius shrugged, his fork raised. "And a bludger were to find itself, let's say, hypothetically speaking…."

"I will, hypothetically speaking, hex you midair."

Sirius grinned. "Just to clarify, this is hypothetical, yes?"

"Such vocabulary," Remus said dryly. "So proud."

"I would dare to say if your bat slipped, Marlene's bat would also slip," Peter said once he'd come up for air.

"It wouldn't be the first time she missed her mark," Sirius muttered, stealing a glance down the table.

" _Hypothetically speaking_ ," James said loudly. "I don't have to let either of you twits back on my team."

Sirius looked outraged. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would."

"No, he wouldn't," Remus and Peter sighed together.

"After what you two pulled last year I shouldn't let you come to trials at all."

"Ah, yes," Peter said dreamily. "The Ravenclaw match. I remember it fondly."

"If anyone shouldn't be allowed back on the team, it's McKinnon," Sirius sneered. "Nearly knocked me off my broom!"

"Did you or did you not aim a bludger at her?" Remus asked dryly.

"It was merely…." Sirius trailed off, searching for the word.

"... Hypothetical?" James offered.

"Good man."


	5. Little White Bars

**Want You Outta My Mental**

The optimistic nature of Lily Evans had betrayed her before, and this was evident in the demeanor of the Slytherin table. Hunched over his plate was one Severus Snape. He wore a permanent scowl, his arms crossed over his chest in a way he hoped was perceived as threatening. He found the more threatening he appeared the less his peers chanced a conversation with him. His train of thought primarily ran around the prefect's meeting, where he had discovered with great horror that James _bloody_ Potter was the Head Boy. He and Potter had never been friends of any sort, in fact they remained quite the opposite from their very first day on the Hogwarts Express. Head Girl, of course, belonged to Lily Evans, who until very recently had been his only friend.

He'd gone and ruined that, of course.

As was his want.

"Mudblood Head Girl, what's it coming to…."

The conversation around him swirled with casual hate. He'd returned to his compartment on the train from the meeting with the news of the new heads, which was unsurprisingly ill received.

"Mudblood _and_ a blood traitor," Zacharias Avery sneered, resting his knife down on the table. "Dumbledore's time is about up, I think."

"When He comes to power," muttered Evan Rosier from beside him, "we won't have to worry about that old bat at all."

There was a dark sort of laughter that Severus did not partake in, his thoughts still with Lily Evans conducting a prefect's meeting on the train, her eyes carefully focused away from him.

"I hear Lucius Malfoy's got his… You know."

This was carefully mumbled, with a gesture to the arm.

"Shame we have to wait to come of age."

This came from Nicholas Mulciber, who had just devoured a second helping of dessert.

"See his fiancee?" mused Rosier. "Hot piece, that Narcissa Black."

"You always preferred blondes," said Rosier. "I'm partial to Bella, myself…."

"She's insane."

"She's… Passionate."

"She's insane," Snape concluded. The boys responded with raised eyebrows.

"He speaks!" exclaimed Mulciber.

"Narcissa's quiet. Knows her place," he continued, now searching for Lily Evans at the Gryffindor table. "Bella's too…"

"...Bella."

"Precisely."

"What're you staring at?"

He snapped his gaze from the Gryffindor table back down to his empty plate. "Nothing important."

"Always shrouded in mystery," Rosier drawled sarcastically. "Speaking of the Blacks."

He gestured to his split lip, courtesy of the Black cousin gone rogue. The boys grunted in disapproval.

"I've had about enough of them," he continued, a quiet intensity in each of his words. His eyes narrowed as he searched the Gryffindor table for the man in question. "Potter's lot."

"Here, here," Mulciber said.

Rosier ran his tongue over his injured lip. "Let's talk strategy."

"Easy," Snape sighed. They turned to him. "First, identify the weakest link."

"Pettigrew," laughed Avery. "The fat sod…."

"But is Pettigrew where it hurts?"

"What'd you mean?"

Severus Snape occasionally felt as if he was babysitting for charity. "To cause the maximum amount of damage, you must manipulate mentally, emotionally… You can't just hex Pettigrew."

"So who do we hex?" Avery asked.

"Who do we want the most?"

"We start with Black… And then we work our way around."

Snape thought of Potter and his stomach churned with hot rage. It could wait, though. It could all wait. "So, in order to take Black, who do we hit?"

He waited patiently for the response, they fell quiet with the thought of it. Again he scanned the Gryffindor table until his eyes fell on Lily Evans, who tossed her head back with laughter. Head Girl Lily Evans and Head Boy James Potter, making rounds alone together late at night. Beneath the table, his fists clenched.

"... Potter?"

"A fine suggestion. Think harder," he muttered. They followed his gaze until slow smiles spread across their faces. A beautiful blonde holding a goblet of pumpkin juice, cracking a joke none of them could hear.

"McKinnon," murmured Avery. "Brilliant."

"Doesn't he hate her? Since…."

"There is a very fine line between love and hate."

Mulciber moved his stare from McKinnon to Snape. "You know, you should be a professor."

"I will be what He requires me to be," came the collected response. This received a grunt of approval. Conversation returned to the Black sisters, occasionally to their degenerate cousin. His eyes returned to Lily Evans, occasionally to his fists.

 **So Much Potential**

Another year, another speech by their twinkle-eyed headmaster warning them of school rules and regulations, a mention of seeing the Quidditch captains for try outs, the introduction of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor (a kind faced man called Professor Doggett Sirius had pegged as a pushover from the moment he dared to smile at the students), followed by the dismissal of the students to their beds. The Great Hall suddenly burst into one million different conversations, the simultaneous scrape of the benches flying backwards. Lily Evans came striding up the aisle, one hand cupped around her mouth.

"First years, this way!"

A small group of terrified first years surged towards her. She greeted them with a warm smile, gently waving them along. James watched her for a moment before giving an exaggerated wink to Remus and joining her. She nodded at his sudden appearance and returned her attention to her charges.

"Ickle firsties!" he called with a broad grin. "Step up, step up. Don't be shy!"

"Potter," Lily hissed, "you'll scare them off…."

"They'll meet Peeves soon enough and it'll all be downhill from there."

She sighed. "You aren't wrong."

"Did you just," he gasped, a hand to his heart. "Did you just say I'm right?"

"I said you aren't wrong," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Contain yourself."

"Look at us, friends already!" he exclaimed. "Cheers!"

She allowed herself to laugh at this, and like the gentleman he was he pretended not to have heard. Together they led the flock of first years from the hall. At the front of the Gryffindor table, Marlene McKinnon was beginning to panic. Lily had dared to leave her side with little to no warning. At the end of Dumbledore's speech she'd jumped up to see to the first years immediately with a quickly mumbled s _ee-you-in-the-Common-Room-Mar._ She hadn't formed a reply by the time she was surrounded by a sea of her peers. Anxiety rose in her chest, choking her. Furiously, she blinked back tears that were beginning to form. Her cheeks burned red with embarrassment.

"What the hell are you crying for," she whispered to herself furiously. This was the moment she had feared: the walk to the common room alone.

"See that girl?" someone said quietly (but just loud enough) from somewhere beside her. "That's Marlene McKinnon. She's the one who-"

"Fucking hell," Marlene spat. She spun towards the group of girls discussing her, who looked equal parts shocked and scared. "Can you lot shut the fuck up please?"

They stared at her as if she'd suddenly sprouted another head. The one she recognized as Izzy James, a Ravenclaw in her year, smirked and rested a hand on her popped hip.

"If you don't want anyone to talk about you, you shouldn't act like such a tart."

And white light flashed in Marlene McKinnon's eyes as she surged forward with her fist cocked back. Izzy James gave a great shriek, not so tough with Marlene's knuckles in such close proximity to her magically altered nose. Someone happened to grab Marlene by the elbow at this particular moment in time, a someone with a surprising amount of strength, and this someone dragged her back while she let a string of swear words loose in the direction of the Ravenclaw seventh year girls, who had once again dissolved into rapid whispering. They watched her with great distaste as she was yanked from the scene kicking and cursing, her hair over her eyes.

"You know, for someone who doesn't want anyone talking about them, beating the shit out of Izzy James is pretty high on your list," a familiar voice drawled in her ear. Relief flooded her as Remus Lupin dropped her arm. "You're welcome, by the way. That would've been a week of detention you certainly can't afford."

"Thank you," she sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "What brings you here to fraternize with the enemy?"

"Prefect duties."

"Ah."

"Also, checking on you."

"Very kind of you Moony but as you can see I'm doing just fine."

They smiled at each other in a knowing sort of way. He opened his mouth to say something else and was interrupted by Mary McDonald.

"Marlene, are you coming?"

The Gryffindor girls had apparently witnessed the entire display, as evident in the gleam in Emmeline Vance's eye. Remus grasped Marlene's forearm reassuringly.

"We'll talk soon," he promised her, already beginning to walk away.

"Yes," came the dry reply, "I'm sure I'll catch you alone."

He smiled at her again, this time sympathetically, before he left her. She walked towards the girls, running a hand through her disheveled hair. They watched her with a mix of curiosity and amusement.

"Remind me to call you next fist fight I find myself in," chirped Mary. Marlene grinned. They started towards the doors. The majority of their peers had funneled out, but to Marlene's luck, plenty remained to witness her latest blunder. Izzy James had wasted no time in her report, she'd even worked up the tears to accompany it.

"Be a matter of time until McGonagall finds me," Marlene sighed as their group advanced on the first of many staircases. It felt as if even the portraits whispered about her as she passed.

"Well you _technically_ did nothing wrong," Dorcas offered. "You didn't actually hit her."

"By the time it reaches McGonagall I'll have hexed her five times."

"Well, we're your witnesses."

Mary nodded. "You didn't hex her. You just…."

"...Almost punched her in the nose."

"Almost being the key word."

Marlene decided then that she liked Dorcas and Mary.

"And then Remus Lupin saved you."

And that she did not like Emmeline.

"Is that allowed?" Emmeline asked sweetly. "I didn't know the Marauders could still speak to you."

"They're my friends too," Marlene replied, defenses rising. "I've known James longer than any of them."

"Let's not even go there," Mary chirped. Marlene sank back into herself, mind racing. It occurred to her that she desperately needed a smoke. She stopped in her tracks and a third year boy walked directly into her back. He apologized and she heard none of it.

"I'll meet you in the common room," she said to no one in particular before she turned. They watched her retreat questioningly, but said nothing until her mane of platinum blonde had vanished from their immediate sight. Dorcas turned to Mary, amused.

"She's a bit strange, isn't she?"

 **Break Me Down and Reassemble**

"Traitor!" Sirius shouted as Remus came through the portrait hole, his index finger pointed accusingly at his friend's chest. The common room was warm and full of chatter, the fire roared and every chair was filled. The Marauders had occupied four of the coziest arm chairs closest to the fire and pulled them together so they faced inward. This made it easier to pass around Peter's flask of Firewhisky.

"Now, now boys," James sighed, his legs swung over the arm of his chair. He'd returned from his Head Boy duties with a satisfied smile. "Let the man breathe."

Remus slid into the empty seat beside him and folded his arms behind his head. "What are you yelling about, Padfoot?"

"I have heard," Sirius started darkly, "from several sources-"

"Oh, several?" Remus said, eyebrows raised. "My goodness."

Peter took a swig from the flask and hiccuped, then passed it to James who took a deep sip and passed it to Remus, who took a slighter smaller sip and passed it to Sirius, who snatched it from his hand with a snarl.

"Yes, several."

"And what did your sources say?"

Peter groaned, "Here we go…"

"They said you were speaking to a certain disowned blonde…."

"Disowned," James repeated with a crooked smile.

"... They said you even saved her from a bit of a pickle…"

"Marlene was in a pickle?" Peter asked, far too concerned for Sirius's liking.

"Big pickle," nodded James solemnly. "Not even a dill."

"Awful joke," said Remus. "Awful."

" _ **Anyway**_ ," Sirius continued, still clutching the flask. "I would appreciate if my so called _best friends_ would leave McKinnon in exile where she belongs."

With this, he drained the flask and tossed it back to Peter, who caught it by the tips of his group fell into silence. James sighed again, reaching up to adjust his glasses. Peter twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"I have a confession."

This statement, laced with dramatic effect, came from James.

"Proceed," Sirius replied carefully, "with caution."

"I, too spoke to Marlene."

"And here I was thinking I was the lone offender," Remus drawled, taking note of the steam rising from the top of Sirius's head. "My, have we sinned."

Sirius stared at him in disbelief.

"And I will continue to speak to Marlene," he continued. "Because I am Switzerland, and Switzerland does not involve itself in these kinds of affairs."

"After what she did to me-"

"Pads, we all know what she did. No one agrees with what she did," James said, now quite serious. "But she's still Marlene, and I grew up with her. She's family. It's understood that she can't be with us as a group…"

"... But if we see her in the hallway, we're not going to ignore her," Remus concluded. James tipped his imaginary hat towards him. Sirius sank into his chair, brooding.

"And again," James continued. "If any of this… Anything at all, comes onto my Quidditch pitch, you're all dead to me."

Peter hiccuped again. "Cheers!"


	6. Wear Me Out

Hi guys! Thanks so much to everyone who's taken the time to read and review this little story. I really appreciate all of it so much, it makes my day. Feel free to drop a line!

 **Smart Ass Little Girl**

The Astronomy tower was the highest point of Hogwarts, making it rather useful for stargazing and smoking, two of Marlene McKinnon's favorite hobbies. It was there, consumed by silence, that she finally pulled the cigarette she'd hidden behind her ear hours before down to her mouth and lit it with the tip of her wand. She inhaled deeply, gratefully, and held the smoke in her throat until it stung. When she released it in a solid stream, she lifted her wand and began to change its color, pink to purple to blue. She smiled softly until someone cleared their throat behind her and she jumped, turning to identify the intruder.

"Hiding, are we?" James Potter asked lightly, retrieving his own cigarette. She shrugged.

"Wouldn't you, if you were me?"

He laughed, moving to stand beside her. "I'd wear it like a badge of honor. Heard you nearly clocked Izzy James, figured you'd be lurking somewhere around here."

"Haven't had a smoke since before the train."

"Ooof."

"The girls are far less accepting of the habit," she continued, eyes on the stars as she took another drag. Again, as she released the smoke she turned it technicolor. He watched her magic with nostalgia playing at his familiar features.

"I taught you how to do that," he mused. She nodded. "Taught you everything you know."

"I wouldn't go that far…"

"Oh, I would. Taught you how to blow rings, taught you how to ride a broomstick…."

They fell into comfortable silence, each aware of the next statement.

"...Taught you how to kiss but we won't talk about that."

She snorted. "Anyone ever told you you're full of yourself?"

"You, actually."

"I'll say it again for good measure."

He exhaled a stream of smoke and followed her gaze to the sky. Through the corner of his eye he watched her finish her cigarette and light another off the end of it. Marlene had a penchant for self destruction, she was fond of lighting everything in her life on fire. She shared this desire with one Sirius Black, and he liked to think that's why they took to each other so well. But before Sirius, there was James, and their brother-sister relationship had once been incestual. This was a little known fact, that McKinnon and Potter had once spent summers rolling around in his broomstick shed. Very few people knew and they preferred to keep it that way. She turned to him with a look he knew very well: Marlene was beginning to enter one of her patented shit spirals, and she had every intention of inviting him along.

"You ever think about that?" she started casually, tossing her hair over her shoulder. He watched her carefully.

"Think about what?"

To play it dumb was to play it safe, but Marlene would have none of it.

"Those nights after practice."

And she was biting her bottom lip and he moved his eyes from hers back to the stars.

"Not since you and Padfoot, you know."

"There was that…" She trailed off, smiling. "Brief intermission."

The truth was that he very much remembered that _brief intermission_.

"No idea, Mar."

"Well let's leave it here. I know you've got your brain wrapped around Lily…"

"And you know how well that's going," he joked, "we'll be engaged by the end of the year."

"... And I know I have recently destroyed your best friend's entire outlook on love…."

"Did you? Hadn't noticed."

She turned to him and commanded his attention. He cursed himself for recalling at that very moment just how good looking she was. _Your best friend_ , he said to himself, _your best fucking friend_. Lily Evans crossed his mind but due to her insistence that she felt nothing for him she fell to the wayside. Instead his thoughts ran from Sirius to the slope of Marlene McKinnon's cleavage and back to Sirius and back to Marlene McKinnon's mouth. He cursed himself for being a man.

"But if you ever want to revisit that brief intermission," she said, her voice low and raspy. "You know where to find me."

He swallowed hard. "Noted. May I ask what brings this up?"

The brief intermission had been bad enough, though the secret had stayed that way, the way God intended it. She played coy.

"Just a thought."

But nothing was ever just a thought with Marlene, it was cool and calculated and he knew her too well.

"I should be getting back to the boys," he said somewhat hastily. He tossed her a sidelong glance. "Fraternizing with the enemy, and all."

"Sharing a smoke with an old friend," she corrected him, and he smiled as he bid her farewell, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he made his way to the stairs.

 **Always On The Run**

" _Moony._ "

He'd once been excited at the prospect of the Head Boy's quarters, a room with a king size bed all to himself. No more sharing a dorm with four other people talking and snoring and sneezing in the night, but he'd forgotten when he needed his friends awake and competent it would be much harder to reach them unannounced. He stood halfway in the door of the boy's dormitory, noting the curtains were drawn on Sirius's bed. It was out of character for him to be asleep so early in the night, but he'd had a trying day of sorts and James was relieved he'd decided to turn in. Remus glanced up from his book, cross legged on his bed, and raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

" _Shhhhhhh-_ "

He waved him over frantically. Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, closing the book. In his striped pajamas, he made his way over to James, growing concerned when he saw the worry knotting his features. Silently, they crept up the spiral staircase to the Head's room at the very top of the tower. They remained entirely quiet until the heavy wooden door was closed behind them. James promptly opened a window and lit a cigarette, taking a seat on the ledge while Remus looked around his new room, impressed.

"Nice digs."

"Beside the point. Marlene just _**hit on me**_ -"

His eyes bulged. "She _what_?"

"She hit on me! On the Astronomy tower! Smoking!" he hissed, gesturing wildly.

"But you guys haven't… Unless you…"

Remus eyed James suspiciously.

"Nothing happened, I swear. Nothing has happened for a long time."

The suspicion remained. "How long?"

"Since before Sirius, way before Sirius."

"Are you telling the whole truth, Prongs?" Remus sighed, leaning against the door. A shadow of guilt dared to creep across James's features and he sighed again, heavier this time. "When? When the hell did this happen?"

"You can't tell a fucking soul."

"I think that goes without saying," he snapped. "What have you done?"

He clapped a hand to his forehead. "It was the summer before sixth year-"

"During The Break?"

The Break had been a moment of great divide within the Marauders, as everyone knew Marlene and Sirius would get back together but the fight had been big enough to choose sides. It was during one of the three weeks that The Break had claimed over their summer break that Marlene had arrived sobbing at the Potter's house with a bottle of Ogden's finest, and the rest was history.

"It just _happened_ ," James said helplessly with his cigarette dangling from his lips. He raked a hand through his hair. "I just…"

"You just what? You just fell and landed on Padfoot's girlfriend?"

"Come off it, it was during The Break!"

Remus was thoroughly exasperated. "Because that matters."

"We didn't," James started frantically, grasping for answers, "we didn't sleep together, it was just kissing."

"I'm sure Sirius would be sympathetic to just kissing," Remus deadpanned.

"We haven't slept together since before they dated, I swear. I solemnly swear."

"Which he knows about?"

"Fucking Christ," James moaned, slapping a hand to his face.

"James!"

"How the hell would I have brought that up? Congratulations on your first real girlfriend Pads, fucked her in my broom shed?"

"You two were always too close."

He couldn't disagree.

"Who else knows?"

"You and you only, good sir."

"Oh _Merlin_ don't put this on me…."

James tossed the remains of his cigarette out the window and crossed his arms.

"I was going to tell him, I was."

"Well now you can't, he'll hex you into next year."

A hefty silence consumed them. Remus began to pace the stone floor.

"You know none of this would have happened if Marlene wasn't such a tart."

"A bold statement from the King of Tarts."

"She's got some fucking Veela in her…."

"You're reaching."

James groaned, resting his head against the wall. "Do you still love me?"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Unfortunately."

 **Playing With Fire**

Sirius Black woke in what he assumed was the middle of the night, due to the darkness and gentle snoring surrounding him. He coughed, the taste of sleep thick on the roof of his mouth, and sat up in his bed. Pulling back the curtains on his four poster bed, he swung his legs over the side of the mattress and stood, arching his back in a deep stretch. Immediately he noticed Moony's empty bed and Peter's soft mumbling. Wormtail had a habit of talking in his sleep, usually nonsense words, sometimes full blown conversations. They'd all grown so used to it they hardly heard him anymore. The distinct urge for nicotine overcame him and he suddenly felt the absence of James, whose pack was typically communal. He made the decision to trek up to the Head's dorm, sliding into the pair of slippers he kept by his bed and creeping from the room.

He took the stairs two at a time and gave the door a swift knock before kicking it open, to the great shock of James and Remus. By the looks of it he had disturbed quite the serious discussion. James sat on the ledge of the open window, smoking a cigarette. His hair was tousled and his glasses were crooked, more than his usual state of disarray. Remus sat at the foot of the bed with his head in his hand. They both stared at him with a mixture of surprise and was it guilt, he saw?

"Gentlemen," he greeted them, casually leaning against the doorframe. "Am I interrupting?"

They responded at the same time with the same reassurance that no, he was not.

"Can I bum a smoke?"

"Always," said James with a half smile, beckoning him across the room. "Shut the door."

Sirius joined him on the ledge, contributing to the steady cloud of smoke. He looked from Moony to Prongs, Prongs to Moony, and his eyes slowly narrowed. He was most definitely interrupting something.

"So what are you girls chatting about?"

"Classes-"

"Quidditch-"

They shot each other dangerous stares, each cursing the other for his conflicting lie.

"Anyone care to tell the truth?"

James opened his mouth to respond and was quickly cut off by Remus. "You. We were discussing you."

"Me?" Sirius asked with slight surprise, eyebrows raised. "I'm flattered."

"You see Padfoot, we have some concerns regarding your temper…."

"And a particular suicide blonde," finished James. Sirius slumped against the wall, lit cigarette in his mouth as he pulled deeply, descending into fury. "Don't start sulking on me now!"

"Tart," he mumbled.

"Who, me?"

"Not you, idiot. McKinnon."

"Now, now, no need to get feisty."

"After what she did to me-"

"Yes, we've heard it before," Remus said impatiently, waving him off. "Our concern is your ability to keep your wand to yourself when you see her."

"Nothing she wouldn't deserve."

"I can't say I disagree," said James, and Remus shot him a curiously dubious look. "But we are adults now, according to the law, and it's not like you won't see her in class or on the pitch."

Sirius grumbled something like agreement.

"We should at the very least be civil. A united front, and all that."

"The Slytherins would have a field day with some infighting," Remus concluded. Sirius grew quiet as he finished his smoke, then hopped down from the ledge.

"I hear you. I'm not listening," he added, "but I hear you."

And with that, he moved towards the door and was gone. When the sound of his footsteps had vanished from the stairs, Remus stood and closed the door. James had been holding his breath. Once they were alone again, he let it out in a stream of hot exasperation.

"A united front," Remus mocked, collapsing back down on the bed. "You're so full of shit."

"It was your lie, I just ran with it."

The threat of Marlene McKinnon's very existence loomed over them. James lit another cigarette. Remus eyed him warily, then groaned into his open palms.

"Just fucking give me one."

And James obliged.

 **And Daddy's Gun**

"Where've you been?"

This came from Lily Evans, who had her hair in Muggle rollers. Marlene crossed the girl's dormitory to her bed, shaking the cold from her bones. It seemed like ages ago that she'd raised her fist to Izzy James in the Great Hall.

"Why don't you just bewitch your hair to curl?" she asked, plopping down on her mattress and sighing with content.

"Why don't you hex people instead of hitting them?"

She grinned. "Fair point."

Marlene used her wand to wind her hair into a bun, kicked off her shoes and leaned down to rub her aching feet. Waves of exhaustion crashed over her.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Sorry mum," Marlene joked, falling into the pillows behind her. "I was stargazing."

"How romantic."

"You'll have to join me sometime."

"It's a date."

"What's a date?" asked Emmeline as she came around the corner with wet hair, fresh from the shower. With a great roll of her eyes, Marlene tugged her robes off and threw them to the floor.

"Lily and I are in love, tell everyone you know."

Lily laughed as she slid beneath her covers. "Especially Potter, make sure it reaches him first."

"That would only encourage him," Marlene said, pulling her pajamas out of her trunk. "He'd want a private show."

"Some of us are trying to sleep!" Mary called from behind the closed curtains around her bed. "If you've forgotten, classes start tomorrow."

Her warning was punctuated by a snore from Dorcas. Lily promptly extinguished the candle beside her bed, wished everyone good night and pulled her own curtains closed. Marlene had just pulled a sleeping shirt into her lap and upon realizing it was inside out, righted it, only to discover it had formerly belonged to none other than Sirius Black. A Muggle girl on a motorbike, her arms stretched high above her head, mouth open wide in a silent moan on a thin black tee stared up unassumingly at Marlene, who swore she felt something inside her splinter. She promptly tossed the shirt back into her trunk, wondering how she'd missed it when she'd cleaned all trace of him from her life. The only candles that remained lit belonged to her and Emmeline, who was taking her sweet time drying her hair with the end of her wand. Marlene made the quick decision to sleep in her bra and pair of sweatpants, if only to spare herself from an inevitable conversation with Emmeline Vance.

"G'night," she mumbled, reaching up to draw the curtains.

"Oh, Marlene, one thing before you go to bed."

She knew she wouldn't escape that easily.

"What's that?"

"Would you mind terribly if I had a date with Sirius Black?"

A strike of lightening, an ice bath, the sensation of falling, several consecutive strikes to the face.

"Not at all."


	7. Love On The Brain

Hi guys! Thanks for all your reviews. I had a really good time writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you hadn't noticed, each of the chapters is titled by the song I wrote it to. Feel free to listen while you read!

 **You Got Me, Let Go**

It was an ironic twist of fate, the way Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black woke simultaneously, panting, sticky with sweat and tangled in their sheets. Funny, how they pushed the covers aside and tried to shake the chill from their bones. Maybe it was karma, how they respectively decided they needed a smoke, maybe some fresh air. Sirius had stolen a cigarette from James's pack when he hadn't been looking for this occasion specifically, knowing his dreams would be plagued with platinum blonde hair. Marlene had dreamt up a scenario in which a familiarly handsome face tore her limb from limb, the kind of scathing criticism she typically saved for her own self talk, and immediately rescued one of her own. She threw a robe on over her pajamas and headed down to the common room, around the same time Sirius slid into his slippers and did the same.

They came down the stairs (amazing, really), cigarettes dangling from mouths, one wand pocketed, the other wound into a bun, eyes tired and minds reeling, and ( _amazing_ ) stepped foot on opposite ends of the common room. The air became thick with what may have been tension. Her stomach knotted immediately, sensing this. Slowly, they turned from their positions, each rooted to the stone beneath them, and scowled. For a moment, neither was able to speak. The confrontation was sudden and uncomfortable. There was no Lily Evans to mediate, no Marauders to distract. It was Sirius and Marlene, very much alone, for the first time since before the incident.

It could go one of two ways.

It went the other.

His wand was drawn in a flash. Panic stricken, Marlene ripped hers from her hair, allowing it to tumble down her back in a slew of knots. Wands aimed precariously, they said nothing. His face was a stone slate. She choked on several different words, ranging from pleasantries to hexes, but neither moved. After several seconds that felt like years, she slowly lowered her weapon, dropping it at her feet to raise her hands in a show of innocence. He sneered, wand still pointed at her throat.

"Just going for a smoke," she said, and she cursed herself for the tremble in her voice. His eyes narrowed, his own cigarette still unlit in his mouth. "I'm just… I'm going back upstairs."

She didn't know why she bothered to speak, he clearly had no interest in responding. His very organs were aflame, his head was pounding, he could think of nothing but how much he would enjoy sending her flying into the wall, to hear the satisfying crunch of her bones….

She turned to escape him, picking up her wand, furiously blinking back the tears filling her eyes. She was on the first step when he managed to speak.

" _ **Cunt**_ _."_

It may have been the way he spat it, maybe the swear itself, but the urge to be away from him was suddenly replaced by the need to hex him into an oblivion. She spun on the step and aimed her wand. He beat her to it.

"Levicorpus!" he shouted, and she cried out as she was hoisted into the air by an invisible rope. Her robe blew open, exposing her bare stomach, and she struggled to cover herself.

"Put me down, Black!" she roared as blood rushed to her face. He said nothing. In fact, he may have smiled, a sinister thing, as he turned back towards the staircase leading to the boy's dormitory, decidedly leaving her midair. She was suddenly very much alone and very much upside down. " _ **Black!**_ "

He heard her.

But he wasn't listening.

 **What You Want From Me**

James Potter woke with a start, fully clothed, slumped over onto the wall beside the window sill where he sat. Groaning, he removed his glasses and cleaned them on the edge of his shirt. Remus laid sideways on his made bed, gently snoring. It appeared that their discussion of Marlene McKinnon (and what exactly to do with her) had gone on longer than they intended. The grandfather clock in the corner with the handsomely carved face informed him that it was around five in the morning.

"Fuck," he mumbled to himself, digging in his pocket to retrieve his cigarettes only to realize the pack was empty. " _Fuck._ "

"Hmm?" Moony stirred. He sat up with a great yawn. "Wha- What time is it?"

"Five in the fucking morning," James sighed, sweeping his hair away from his forehead.

"Shit."

"Ah, well. 'Least we have a few more hours before breakfast."

"Correction, _I_ have a few more hours before breakfast," Remus started as he got to his feet. " _You_ have morning rounds, and I suggest you start getting ready now."

James stared at his friend in disbelief. "Who made that rule? That's ghastly…."

And in a perfect imitation of James: " _I'll do it, Evans. Not a problem at all._ "

Another groan. He pulled his wand from his pocket and aimed it lazily at his open trunk. "Accio cigarettes."

A full pack flew into his open hand. He had it lit between his lips in the time it took Moony to walk to the door. The boy in question paused with his hand on the handle, turning to narrow his eyes at James once more.

"Just to review-"

"Merlin, not again-"

"What do we do when we see Marlene?"

James made a rude gesture and Remus scoffed.

"Kidding, only kidding..."

"We say hello…"

"... And we walk right by her."

"And what do we avoid?"

"The Astronomy Tower. The Quidditch pitch after dark," James sighed darkly as he continued, "Any and all broom closets….."

"And as you're rarely without Padfoot or I, that should be easy enough."

In regards to Marlene McKinnon, few things were easy. James believed they were both aware of this. It was evident in the meaningful look Remus tossed him as he headed down the stairs towards his four poster bed, leaving James to smoke. When he finished the cigarette he hopped down from the window and closed it behind him, stretching. He hadn't gotten the night of rest he was planning on. He entertained the idea of a shower and shrugged it off, pulling clean robes from his trunk with another great yawn. Why had he ever volunteered for the morning shift? There had to be other ways to impress Lily.

He mulled this over as he made his way down the stairs to the common room, where he intended to nap in one of the cozier chairs by the fire for twenty minutes or so. He passed the door of his old dormitory on the way and could hear the muffled sounds of an argument just beyond it. One eyebrow raised, he pushed the door open.

Sirius was livid, smoking by the open window. Remus, thoroughly exhausted, stood beside his bed, looking as if he had every intention of crawling under the covers but had been prevented by circumstance. Peter sat upright in his bed, the curtains pulled open, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There was a fifth boy in their dorm, Jacob McKee, quiet and studious and generally wanting no part of his roommates hijinks. A healthy dose of the muffliato charm kept him in obscurity, as he wished, behind his curtains and fast asleep. Sirius, Remus and Peter turned towards the door, tense, and relaxed momentarily when they saw it was only James.

"So I went downstairs for a smoke," Sirius began through gritted teeth, foregoing James's inevitable question. "And wouldn't you know who decided to drag her decrepit excuse for a body down the stairs-"

James's stomach dropped. He exchanged a look with Remus that very plainly read nothing productive had ensued.

"Were you on your way downstairs?" he continued, a gleam in his eye. "Say hello for me."

"Padfoot-"

Sirius laughed, and James felt sick with the sound of his best friend clearly unhinged. What had he done? He turned from the door, ignoring Remus's call of _Prongs!_

Taking the stairs two at a time, he arrived in the common room slightly out of breath to see Marlene McKinnon upside down, her face beet red. She looked like she'd been crying, entirely helpless in her current position. He wanted to help her, but given the nature of their previous conversation was compelled to keep his distance.

"Liberacorpus," he said, flicking his wand in her direction. She yelped as she went crashing to the ground. Breathing heavily, she swept the hair from her damp face and looked up to see who had so graciously let her down.

"Thanks," she mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

"No problem."

She stood, the front of her robe open, and he averted his eyes. Clearing her throat, she turned back towards the stairs.

"I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything," he said quickly. She glanced over her shoulder, color slowly draining from her face as she pulled the robe closed.

"I'm sure I'll think of something."

With that she was gone, leaving him entirely flustered in her wake. He drug a hand through his hair and let out a groan of frustration. Just as he was beginning to wonder if things could possibly get any worse, Lily Evans came storming down the stairs. She would've looked perfectly lovely in her freshly laundered robes if she hadn't been wearing an expression of unadulterated rage.

"What have you done to Marlene?"

"Me?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"You're the one with your wand out!"

He looked down at the wand in question, still gripped in his hand. "It's not what it looks like!"

"She's crying in the dormitory," Lily seethed.

"Evans, I swear it wasn't me-"

"Apologize!"

"For what?" James barked, his frustration growing by the second. "For getting her down? Padfoot had her strung up by her bloody ankle!"

"Padfoot?"

"Sirius."

"Detention!"

"You can't give me detention, I'm Head Boy," James said hotly, "And I didn't do anything."

"I can give Black detention. A week of it."

"A _week_ -"

"An assault on a fellow student! A housemate! His _ex girlfriend_ -"

James was at a loss for words. Lily stormed across the common room and he lept out of her way. She was suddenly advancing on the stairs. James had never thought the rule that girls could intrude on the boy's dormitories but the opposite was strictly banned held water, especially so as he chased Lily Evans to the seventh year dorm and watched her blow the door open.

" _Black!_ " she shouted, hair flying as she stood in the doorway, seemingly twice her height. The boy in question was sitting up in bed with his arms folded over his chest. Moony, the bags under his eyes darkened significantly, looked at Lily with a mixture of dread and disbelief. Peter's jaw hung slightly open, and Jacob McKee remained (thankfully) asleep. James materialized behind her, helpless.

"Evans!" Sirius greeted cheerily. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Oh, God," Remus groaned, his face in his hands.

"Detention," she barked with an accusing finger pointed at his chest. He feigned innocence, puppy dog eyes pleading.

"Whatever for?"

"For _assaulting_ Marlene!"

"Does Marlene get detention also? For being a slag?"

"Enough," Lily growled, her voice dangerously low. James felt something like fear in his stomach. He had never seen her quite this threatening. "Keep your wand to yourself. Keep your words to your friends. Keep away from Marlene. Detention."

"You'll have to negotiate times with McGonagall, seeing as she's already given me a week's worth."

"What an accomplishment," she seethed. "I'll speak with her in the morning."

"On the contrary," Peter piped up with a gesture to the window, where the sun had begun to stream through the glass. "It is morning."

Lily, with renewed vigor, rounded on Wormtail, who shrunk beneath his covers. She'd opened her mouth to pepper him with insults when a sudden stirring caused them all to turn to the fifth, ignored bed. Jacob McKee was pushing aside his curtains, arms wide in a deep stretch. He took in the scene with wide eyes: Sirius smirking in bed, Remus's fragile sanity, Peter cowering in fear of Lily Evans glowering in the doorway and James Potter behind her, utterly displaced.

"... Good morning?"

 **Tried To Buy Your Pretty Heart**

At breakfast, the school buzzed with the latest gossip. Sirius Black had suspended Marlene McKinnon midair to mixed reviews. Some seemed to think it was well deserved, others found it crude, the majority laughed and chalked it up to long awaited revenge. The general consensus was that it could have, and maybe should have, been worse. Hopefully, they agreed, it would be in time. Sirius himself woke from an hour of sleep in a refreshingly good mood. He hummed his way down to the Great Hall, much to the annoyance of his friends, and helped himself to a heaping serving of bacon and eggs. Remus yawned compulsively beside him. Peter, shaken from his near decapitation via Lily Evans, kept to himself. James was nowhere to be found. He'd vanished for his rounds with mumbled excuses and they hadn't heard from him since.

"I've asked out Emmeline, by the way," Sirius chirped as he poured himself a goblet of pumpkin juice. Remus stared at him incredulously.

"When did you find the time?"

"After dinner, before I jinxed McKinnon."

"Ah."

"Wide window of time," Peter ventured.

"I also did a lot of smoking."

"Noted."

"Speaking of smoking, where's Prongs?"

"No idea."

"Did you check the map?"

"I think he's got it."

"Who's got what?"

This came from James, who had mysteriously appeared behind them. He motioned for Peter to scoot down and the boy obliged. He looked windblown and decidedly calmer as he sat down and served himself some toast.

"The map. Where've you been?"

"Needed to fly," he said. " _Somebody_ disturbed my psyche very early this morning."

And he glared at Padfoot, who shrugged.

"We have more important matters to discuss," Sirius said impatiently. "We still haven't decided who's who-"

"Who's who?" questioned Peter. Sirius continued.

"I'm Paul-"

"Who says you're Paul? I thought I was Paul," James chimed in, grateful for the distraction.

"No, you're John, which makes Moony George-"

"Moony is clearly George, the real issue here is that I am Paul and you are John."

"Who am I?" Peter asked earnestly.

"Ringo," they said simultaneously. Remus snorted.

"I'm Paul because I get all the birds," Sirius declared, and James let out a bark of laughter.

"On the contrary, _I'm_ Paul because _I_ get all the birds…"

"Lily Evans. Your argument is invalid," said Sirius, waving him off. "Girls only talk to you because you play Quidditch."

"And because I'm devilishly handsome," James grinned. "Which, by the way, makes me Paul."

"No, you're John because of the glasses."

"No-"

Remus put his hand up, effectively silencing them. "Sirius is John and James is Paul."

James cried out in victory while Sirius folded his arms over his chest.

"Sirius is John because of the temper…."

"That's a fucking typecast," he snarled.

"...And James is Paul because of the… Charisma?"

"Nice try Moony but we all know it's right here," said James, pointing to his face.

"Why am I Ringo?"

Moony laughed. "Because-"

"Good morning, ladies!"

A heavy silence fell over the Marauders in the wake of James's cheery greeting to the Gryffindor girls, who were coming down the aisle looking pointedly aloof. It seemed to have been discussed, this united front, as they were led by a stone faced Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon was noticeably absent. Dorcas and Mary sent identical withering glares in the general direction of Sirius Black, who deflected them with a snarl. Emmeline, however, returned the greeting with a wide smile. This was heavily mentally criticized by Lily, who turned to James unflinchingly.

"Potter."

"Back to Potter, are we?" he asked her, sheepish.

"We never left," she said coolly in passing, headed towards the front of the table. When they had vanished in a flurry of swishing skirts and upturned noses, Sirius scowled.

"Are they forgetting that _I'm_ the victim?" he asked no one in particular. "She's the one who-"

"Again, we know what she did," Remus interrupted. "That being said, ignoring her is more effective than jinxing her."

"According to who?"

"I don't know," he sighed, defeated. James's stare trailed to the end of the table, where the girls were immersed in a discussion of what he could only assume centered around the early morning's events. Painstakingly, he remembered he had rounds with Lily in the evening and began to prepare himself for an hour of icy silence. Not exactly what he had been picturing when he'd imagined their mandatory time alone together. He thought of Marlene, his dear old friend and her dismally impulsive decision making. Beside him, Sirius was tossing a casual wink to Emmeline Vance. His heart sank.

What a way to start the year.

 **But The Price, Too High...**


	8. Unconsolable

Love you, love your reviews, keep em coming!

I promise I'm gonna start to heat things up soon...

 **Come Up To My House**

James Potter loved girls.

Girls with soft skin, girls with full lips, girls with long hair, girls who smelled like rosewater and starlight, girls who stole his cigarettes, girls with laughter like sleigh bells, girls who tasted like cinnamon, girls named Lily Evans, girls named Marlene McKinnon, girls with an ass like the Ravenclaw who'd been climbing the stairs in front of him…

He could go on.

His morning patrols had consisted of confirming that the majority of the school was still tucked in bed, and the few students that were up and about had no ulterior motives. He took this opportunity to smoke cigarettes on the Quidditch pitch, allowing himself to rescue his broom from the Gryffindor shed and take a few laps. When he'd exhausted himself, he flew back down to Earth and dismounted, only to take a seat on the grass and light another cigarette. He pulled on it thoughtfully, thinking of girls. Infuriating, confusing, lovely girls.

From what he could recall, he'd fallen in love with Lily Evans their fourth year. Her backpack had split, all of her books went crashing to the floor, every vile of ink shattered and he rushed forward to help her, this pretty girl from his house who he'd been watching for so long. She'd looked up at him with her emerald eyes and smiled and said thank you. He wasn't sure when his innocent crush had turned into an assault on her affections, he could certainly recall times when Evans had barely crossed his mind, but from that moment on he'd begun to study her. He liked to think his advances were charming. The other girls in the school seemed to think so. They found him romantic. Impulsive, but romantic. He recalled the time he'd swan dove in front of her during a Quidditch match, how he'd pulled out of the dive in the knick of time and reared up to see her watching him with great distaste while the girls around her sat starry eyed. He loved to watch her walk, how her hips swayed, her petite frame coming through the portrait hole sent a shock to his system. Even when she'd been standing in the doorframe of the dormitory seething barely an hour before, she was beautiful. There was a glow about her he couldn't quite describe.

Though, he thought reluctantly, that was the extent of his knowledge. You see, he didn't particularly _know_ Lily Evans. He knew she was kind and loyal and smart, smart as all hell in every class, but he wasn't privy to her secrets, her specific likes and dislikes, what made her tick. This made him feel particularly stupid. He'd been chasing her and chasing her and he barely even knew who she was, other than confirming time and time again that she was beautiful. When he'd promised her on the train he would halt his advances, he very much meant it. After three years of pathetic pining, he was coming to realize that maybe he and Lily Evans simply weren't meant to be. She did seem to hate him, after all.

Girls.

Infuriating, confusing, lovely girls.

He lit another cigarette.

The first time he'd fucked Marlene McKinnon was the summer before their fifth year. There'd been kissing previously, feverish kissing that typically ended in giggling and a valiant return to his yard, where they would fly until the sun went down. It was different that time, it had escalated quickly and suddenly her ankles were on his shoulders. He remembered the way she tasted like butterbeer and smoke and Honeydukes chocolate, how she groaned as he pushed into her. It happened like that, on the dirt floor of his broom shed, several times. But when he thought of Marlene, he thought of exactly that: Dirt floor sex, groping in empty classrooms, stolen, sloppy kisses. When he thought of Lily he wondered what it would feel like to sleep beside her, what it would be like to ask her what she'd dreamt of.

He could never see himself _dating_ Marlene. It was odd, how he thought of her like a brother who he occasionally saw naked. And when she and Sirius had fallen haphazardly into whatever they felt was love, there wasn't another mention of it. The thought of it, however, never quite went away. It laid beneath every casual glance, the sleeping giant, the image of his childhood friend writhing beneath him in the dirt.

James Potter sighed heavily as he laid back on the grass, eyes closed.

Girls.

 **Drink With My Friends**

The Slytherin boys found themselves in the courtyard that morning. They did not witness the owls delivering the mail during breakfast. They had an inside source, you see, as to what the news would be. It would be simple to remain inside the realm of their school, to concern themselves only with the petty undertakings of adolescence, things like Quidditch matches and House rivalry.

A muggle family of five had been found dead.

Gloria Davis, a prestigious witch, had been found dead.

Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery were joined by Regulus Black that particular morning. The younger, impressionable brother of Sirius, he had fallen into the correct path, the one that wound toward pureblood status and a hefty inheritance. The favorite of his parents, he came with a certain sense of entitlement that highlighted his age. A fifth year in a crowd of sevenths, he was permitted to join them based solely on blood status and gold.

Severus Snape had woken early, predictably to sulk somewhere quiet.

Their conversation swirled casually around Mulciber's upcoming seventeenth birthday. There was an arrangement made, involving the recently graduated Lucius Malfoy and his soon to be bride. They discussed the wedding. They discussed the birthday. They discussed the mark.

Somehow, they kept coming back to it: The mark, the highest of honors, would distinguish them as members of the revolution.

"Gloria Davis was a hag," Avery said bluntly. "I saw her at Gringotts over the summer."

Regulus nodded.

Much of his input consisted of nodding.

"Has anyone seen Snape?" Mulciber asked, his arms crossed over his chest. "Off somewhere pining over that mudblood girl?"

"Pining?" Regulus repeated, confused. The boys snorted.

"Have you seen the way he looks at her?"

"Weren't they… Friends?"

The word felt thick on the young Black's tongue. From a young age, he had been taught that a friendship between a mudblood and a pureblood was nothing short of revolting.

And that's why his brother had been blasted off the family tree.

"Not anymore. He's come to his senses."

"Still stares at her all the fuckin' time," Rosier grunted.

"We should set him up," Avery mused. The other boys looked momentarily confused. "I hear McKinnon's on the market, right Black?"

Regulus flushed at the mention of his brother's affairs. The boys laughed around him.

"I've been thinking about my induction," Mulciber said in hushed tones, and they drew closer. "You know… The unforgivables."

It was required, before the mark could be received, to perform an unforgivable curse. It was necessary to prove not only dedication but loyalty to the cause.

"I think," he continued, a nasty gleam in his eye. "I've narrowed down my options."

At that precise moment, the Gryffindor girls could be seen walking through the hall. They were on their way to breakfast, where they would receive their copies of the Daily Prophet, and become very aware that death closed in on them, even as they slept. They were led by a redheaded mudblood, who was in casual conversation with the one Avery referred to as "pig snout". Regulus recognized her as Mary McDonald.

"Evans?" Rosier grinned.

"Evans would be too easy… Do you remember our discussion at dinner?"

And they did, they clearly remembered the desire to get even with Potter's lot, and how in order to do so they must secure the weakest link. The beautiful blonde pureblood, Marlene McKinnon, was waking in her dormitory to empty beds and an ache forming above her eye. She knew not of this plan. She couldn't have. She wouldn't….

"...even see it coming."

 **You Can Lay On My Couch**

"Oh, Gloria…."

Dorcas Meadowes clutched her copy of the Daily Prophet. Chills ran up her spine as the sound of breakfast swirled around her. She'd known Gloria Davis, been to her house for tea. A lovely, kind, positively gifted woman. She'd been found spread eagle in her study. There were no signs of struggle.

"Did you know her?" Lily asked. "I'm so sorry, Dor…"

"This is only the beginning," she said gravely, resting the paper on the table beside her coffee. "We can't escape it…"

"Come on, let's not talk about it," Mary said, her tone soft and kind as she rested her hand on Dorcas's. There was a storm brewing, and sometimes it was easier to ignore. They had felt it swirling their sixth year, seen it in the closed shops and posters boasting defensive tactics in Diagon Alley, noted the increased security presence at the gates of the school, treaded lightly over the subject of their dear friends, Frank and Alice, graduating to join the Auror trainees. They could lose themselves in mindless gossip instead, sidestep the death and despair, trade it for a semblance of normalcy.

Lily believed this is why the subject of Marlene McKinnon remained so intriguing.

Dorcas sighed heavily.

Emmeline Vance returned to their end of the table with a flourish, pink in her cheeks, at the opportune moment. The taste of death was stale in their mouths, but Emmeline, who had been off flirting with Sirius Black, had plenty else to discuss. She opened her mouth and began to talk incessantly.

"... And then James said he was Paul, and _Sirius_ said…."

"Are they still having this argument?"

The question was dry and tired and came from above their heads, where Marlene McKinnon stood with unbrushed hair and glassy eyes.

"Move over," she grunted at Emmeline, who pursed her lips but obliged. As she helped herself to pumpkin juice, she gestured to the Prophet. "Anything good?"

"Nothing at all, actually," Dorcas said, handing her the paper. "Gloria Davis has been killed."

Marlene's eyes went wide. "No!"

"And a muggle family in Surrey."

"Was it-"

"Of course it was."

Marlene settled into this information, her head foggy with lack of sleep. "God, I need a smoke."

"You smell like you just had several," Lily said, eyebrows raised. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Only two…"

"Poor thing. I heard you had a rough night," Emmeline cooed. Marlene smiled at this, but there was no warmth beneath it.

"Just a bit of fun between friends," she said, tracing a finger along the rim of her goblet. "Sirius and I go way back, you know."

This was the kind of joke that settled uncomfortably and came with the sensation of a deflating balloon. Lily Evans cleared her throat.

"I do feel a bit guilty," she confessed. "I nearly lynched Potter."

"Potter's a big boy, he'll be alright," Marlene smiled. "Now Peter, on the other hand…"

"Poor kid," Lily sighed. "Wrong place at the wrong time."

"I do thank you for defending my honor," said Marlene, raising her goblet. "To Lily Evans, destroyer of Marauders!"

"Here, here," chimed Mary halfheartedly. Dorcas was immersed in her Prophet, one leg shaking.

"Well, I'm off to see the boys," Emmeline said dreamily, pushing off the table to stand. Marlene eyed her with carefully constructed poise. She had said this, several times, when she came to visit Lily during meals.

Was she being replaced?

She made a great show of pretending not to watch Emmeline advance on the Marauders, who had received their copies of the Prophet and were discussing it in hushed tones. Something like jealousy poured through her, something like molten lava, as she witnessed with her own eyes Remus Lupin give a smile to Emmeline Vance as he slid over on the bench to make room for her. And Peter Pettigrew offered her a scone, and James Potter gave a cry of "Ah, the bird is here!" and Sirius Black…

Well, Sirius Black was staring right back at her.

Very much amused.

 **Aching To Start All Over Again**

"Oh, goodness…."

Moaning Myrtle was floating somewhere in the pipes when she heard violent retching in one of the stalls of her bathroom. She was pleased to find that her company was none other than Marlene McKinnon, notorious Gryffindor seventh year. Myrtle had grown to like Marlene, as her appearances in her bathroom had grown increasingly more frequent at the end of last term. Marlene preferred the second to last stall for all of her existential crises, ranging from dry heaving to heavy sobs, and Myrtle considered her somewhat of a kindred spirit. She hovered carefully above her pretty blonde head, legs crossed.

"Did something happen?" she asked, and the question was delicious. Marlene rested her forehead on the rim of the toilet, knees curled beneath her. "Something with Sirius Black?"

"Not now, Myrtle."

"You're missing class, you know."

"Not _now_ , Myrtle."

" _Hmmph._ You're no fun today," she said lightly, flipping over to float on her stomach with her chin in her hands. "Have you seen the new Defense professor? I saw him in the professor's lavatory. Nice looking, but certainly not up to _your_ standard-"

"Enough," Marlene snapped as she raised her head from the toilet. A mixture of anger and shame churned in her stomach.

And Myrtle giggled as she spun upside down again, sending herself flying down the toilet beside Marlene's, back into the pipes. Finally alone, Marlene wiped the spit from the corner of her mouth and stumbled to her feet. She slung her school bag back over her shoulder, flushed the toilet and proceeded to the mirrors on the opposite wall, where she scoffed at her reflection. Beyond the bathroom door, the sound of chatter filled the hall. She had successfully evaded Transfiguration, her first class of the day, and was headed to the fortunately Marauder-less Arithmancy.

When she entered the corridor, she did it with her head bowed and her eyes focused on the floor. It would take a fair few steps to fight her way from Myrtle's bathroom to her classroom, but if she walked fast enough she could make it there unseen-

"Miss McKinnon!"

Professor McGonagall's voice rang out somewhere behind her and she froze, turning slowly on her heel. The professor's eyebrows were raised, her lips pursed and her arms folded over her chest.

"Nice of you to join us this morning."

"I'm sorry, Professor, I… Just not feeling well."

"I suggest you find your way to the hospital wing, or I will be forced to deduct points," McGonagall quipped, watching her carefully. The girl's face was entirely drained of color, she looked as though she would be sick at any moment. She nodded quickly, swallowing hard.

"I will. Thank you, Prof-"

" _ **Oi!**_ "

Suddenly, many things happened all at once: The sound of a struggle, a familiar scream, a small explosion, purple smoke, and the spontaneous uproar of the students in the hall. McGonagall went running towards the sound. Marlene glanced over curiously, but happened to get a glimpse at the floor as she did so, where a familiar rat was scampering past her. She bent down and scooped him up, much to his dismay, and promptly tucked him inside her pocket. With a small smile, she returned to Myrtle's bathroom.

Once safely tucked in her favorite stall, she took a seat on top of the toilet and pulled the rat from her pocket. He showed no sign of a struggle. She placed him on the floor and sat back.

"Well, let's hear it."

And the rat she'd rescued from the floor of the corridor was taking form as Peter Pettigrew, who looked guilty and shifty and all together very responsible for whatever had just occurred.

"Marlene, what a pleasant surprise-"

"Save it. What happened?"

Peter sighed. Marlene crossed her legs, waiting.

"Padfoot and I wanted to play a prank on Snape…"

"A tale as old as time. Go on."

"Right, so I-"

Then, with Peter Pettigrew and Marlene McKinnon comfortably seated in the same stall, is precisely when Moaning Myrtle chose to come spinning up the pipes and float over them. Her eyes widened with delight. Marlene heard the words before she belted them, as near to the door to the corridor as she could.

" _ **MARLENE MCKINNON'S IN THE LOO WITH A BOY!**_ "

And Marlene swore violently, pushing passed starry eyed Peter Pettigrew as she ran to the door. The silence beyond the door was suffocating, her heart raced as she pushed it open, only to confront herself with a small crowd of very interested bystanders. To the left, Professor McGonagall, looking entirely unimpressed. Beside her, Lily Evans, equally so with a dash of confusion. A group of giggling students, front and center, whispering behind hands a million and one _I told you so's_. Remus Lupin, holding two stacks of books (one clearly being Peter's) watched her carefully, his jaw slackening as Peter appeared behind her shoulder, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

" _Pettigrew_ ," sneered Nicholas Mulciber, his arms crossed over his chest. "Low, even for you, McKinnon…."

"Enough!" barked McGonagall. "To your classes, immediately!"

The crowd, mumbling under their collective breath, began to dissipate. Much to Marlene's mounting dismay, James Potter and Sirius Black were coming around the corner under the guise of innocence. Their eyes moved from their fuming Transfiguration professor to Marlene and Peter in the bathroom doorway to Remus holding double the amount of books to Lily, whose mouth was dropped open in surprise.

"Pettigrew, McKinnon, explain yourselves."

"We just-"

"Nothing happened-"

Sirius sneered, turning on his heel to stalk away. James looked from the scene before him to the back of his retreating best friend. Lily met his eyes and made a face that clearly stated she had no idea where to begin, so he chose to follow Sirius.

"Well," he muttered to himself as he jogged after Sirius, "at least we'll have something to talk about tonight."


	9. Call Your Girlfriend

Hey kids! Sorry for the delay and shortness of this chapter. I promise a much longer one next time around. And as always, review review review!

 **Call Your Girlfriend**

Several things occurred after the unceremonial reveal of Marlene McKinnon and Peter Pettigrew's alleged bathroom escapade. First, the news spread like wildfire. The only words on the lips of the Hogwarts population were of Marlene and the Marauders, occasionally peppered with the news of Gloria Davis and the Death Eaters most recent attack. Marlene fled to the hospital wing, where she received a draught for headaches and laid staring at the ceiling until Madam Pomfrey threatened to physically remove her. Peter rushed to the side of one Sirius Black, who was violently calm, to hurriedly explain that really, nothing had happened. This coincided with James's cigarette break, during which Remus Lupin joined him on the grounds, leaning against the castle and musing on what exactly they were to do with their friends.

Lily Evans spent her free period trying to find a willing prefect to cover her rounds that evening with Potter to no avail. There was a brief moment in which she and Severus Snape passed each other in the hallway. Any and all eye contact was avoided, as was any conversation during Potions, where they both received perfect marks on their respective brews. James Potter and Sirius Black, holding court at the back table, produced an impressive explosion very much on accident, much to the amusement of their peers. Professor Slughorn, witness to all of this, sighed heavily with his forehead in his palm as the class filtered from the room, leaving behind the smell of rotting eggs.

The last class of the day, Defense Against the Dark Arts, happened to occur just as Madam Pomfrey led Marlene McKinnon from her sickbed to the corridor. The blonde attempted a marvelous fainting spell, which earned her a hefty roll of the nurse's eyes and a sympathetic pat on the back. She had successfully avoided each and every one of her classes, but there was no escaping this last one, unless she truly desired several weeks of detention served to her by her head of house. And so she gathered her things, books clutched tightly in her arms, and headed to class several minutes early.

The corridors were flush with gossip. Her cheeks burned red as she pushed her way through the crowd, feeling the eyes on her back even as she entered the classroom. In a moment of refreshed panic, she realized she no longer had anyone to sit with. Someone behind her grasped her elbow and she jumped.

"Only me," Lily Evans smiled gently. "Come on."

She led her to the front of the room, where the table directly before the professor's empty desk was unoccupied. Marlene rarely encountered the front of the classroom, she spent her days lurking in the back with Sirius and James. She tried to wipe this from her memory, instead returning Lily's smile, and took the seat beside her. Lily unrolled a sheet of parchment and set up her quill. In one sweeping motion, Marlene threw her hair into a bun, her wand wound in the center.

"Oh, Mrs. Pettigrew…." a voice sneered behind her. Her stomach turned as she spun in her seat with a scowl to see the Slytherin boys wandering in, led by Nicholas Mulciber.

"When's the wedding?" called Avery. Lily instinctively rested a hand on Marlene's shoulder.

"Don't," she said simply, straightening her parchment. "Just don't."

Marlene took a steadying breath as she turned stone faced to the front of the room. The Slytherins roared with laughter as they took their seats. Severus Snape trailed behind them, silent and seemingly very entertained with the floor. Marlene noticed the sudden tension in Lily's shoulders, as if she'd sensed him enter the room. She made a mental note to address this later.

"Hello," breathed Mary as she slid into the seat behind Lily and Marlene. She turned towards the blonde with a grin. "Staying out of trouble, are we?"

"Shut up," she groaned.

Dorcas joined her moments later. "Slow morning, eh?"

"Oh, leave her alone," Lily laughed, and the sound was replicated mockingly several feet behind her. If it bothered her, nobody knew. Marlene turned with a rebuttal on the tip of her tongue, her eyes happening to move toward the heavy wooden doors at the back of the room, where the Marauders were making their entrance. Led by James, who chatted with Peter. Remus, digging in his bookbag, and… Sirius Black with Emmeline Vance, whose head was tossed back in a vicious sort of laugh. The knife in Marlene's belly twisted tenfold.

There was a jet of light, and Remus's bag split open. His books went crashing to the floor. Mulciber and Avery roared with laughter, and Sirius drew his wand. They laughed harder at this, much to Sirius's frustration. He started towards them and was pulled back by James, who then knelt to pick up the rest of Remus's books. A united front, they decidedly did not jinx back. This was not a unanimous vote, judging by the shades of hatred shifting on Sirius's face, but had been decided by none other than James Potter, whose jaw was set. He took his seat, staring straight forward, and the boys followed.

Impressed, Lily Evans took note of this.

There would be a point in which she would mention this later.

Emmeline Vance was sitting at Sirius Black and James Potter's table in the back. She was the third chair, honorary copilot, and Marlene McKinnon was appalled.

"Good afternoon!" called a new voice, coming up the aisle from the doors. Their new professor, as there was a new Defense professor every year, bounced to the front of the room with a wide grin. "Last class of the first day, almost over…. I am Professor Doggett, and I would like for you to put away your books and take out your wands!"

"Another enthusiastic one," Dorcas whispered.

Enthusiastic, he was. Young, handsome, and… Uncomfortably avoiding eye contact with the front table.

This was the class Marlene McKinnon had been dreading.

"Let's take attendance, shall we? Send red sparks into the air when your name is called."

She felt the eyes on her head.

"Avery?"

Sparks.

He continued down the list, easing through the Slytherin girls, whose sparks were emerald green.

"Black?"

Sparks.

A twist of the knife.

"Evans?"

Brilliant sparks.

"Lupin?"

Sparks. Subdued.

"Pettigrew?"

A snort of laughter, then sparks.

"Potter?"

Valiant, blinding sparks.

"McDonald….."

The pause, the pregnant pause before her name, and she saw the hard swallow, the lump in the professor's throat because surely he knew what had happened last year, why the last professor had left the post….

"... McKinnon."

Deflated, degraded, failure by design.

Sparks.

 **Say You've Had The Talk**

The evening brought a steady divide. After dinner, Moony and Wormtail retreated to the common room for a few rounds of exploding snap before bed. Padfoot was banished to the first evening of his week of detentions, where he would be polishing trophies without a drop of magic. The Gryffindor girls curled around the coziest arm chairs, discussing their first day of classes, minus one Marlene McKinnon, who'd stolen away to the Astronomy tower for several smokes. Lily Evans retreated in defeat to the entrance hall, where she waited with her arms crossed over her chest for James Potter, due to begin their rounds.

He came down the staircase approximately three minutes late (not too late, she noted, but late nonetheless), the smell of smoke clinging to his robes. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. The act itself, she would admit she found attractive. That cloud of aesthetic that came with every puff reminded her of the classic movies she would watch as a child, but the smell itself sickened her, and this significantly lessened the appeal. He approached her with a crooked grin, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

"Alright, Evans?"

"Quite," she chirped. The memory of Marlene McKinnon suspended by her ankle in the common room had been only that morning and the scene that had followed hung fresh between them.

"Er… Interesting first day, eh?"

He was attempting to crack the glacier between them and she allowed him a small, tight smile.

"You could say that."

And so, wands out, they began to walk up the staircase for their promenade of the first floor in uneasy silence. It was several minutes of muttering portraits and echoing footsteps before James dared to speak again.

"Wonder what Padfoot's up to…"

Lily's brow creased. "Padfoot?"

"Oh, Sirius. Little nickname."

"Why Padfoot?"

He grinned. "Can't give it all away, can we? Let's check on him."

"We have to finish the corridor," she started, uneasy to deter.

"Who says we'd leave?"

With a flourish, he pulled an antique hand mirror from the pocket of his robes. He cleared his throat before holding it eye level, and clearly said Sirius's name. Much to Lily's (hidden) amusement, Sirius Black appeared in the reflection, looking terribly bored.

"Save me," he pleaded.

"Did this to yourself, mate. Just checking in, making sure you didn't hang yourself…"

"How noble…"

"Don't go punching people next time."

"Maybe they shouldn't go deserving it. 'Ello there, Evans!"

Lily, slightly smiling, gave a half hearted wave before turning to James. "We should really be focusing on the rounds."

"The queen has spoken. Cheers, mate!"

Sirius gave a middle finger salute before his image vanished, leaving the glass clear. As James pocketed the mirror, Lily eyed him curiously.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Family heirloom," he shrugged. "Why, you on the market for one?"

She shook this off. They continued to walk.

Time continued to crawl forward. They advanced a floor or two. There appeared to be no students out of bed, no distractions. James had begun to whistle.

"Can you stop that?" she asked after several bars of song she'd never heard. He snorted.

"Too much cheer for you? I'll try to contain myself."

He started up again, slightly quieter.

She rolled her eyes.

The glacier, towering between them, melted enough for a shot of water. They walked on, eyes focused on opposite walls, for several moments before she spoke.

"That was very, um… Mature. What you did in class today."

He stopped, turning to her with raised eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Ignoring the Slytherins like that…. After they split Remus's bag?"

"Ah," he sighed. "A necessary evil. Just trying to eh… Keep the peace, I guess."

She nodded, eyes trained on the floor ahead of her. Silence fell between them again, but he grinned into it.

 _Mature._

 **Give Your Reasons**

Sirius Black groaned heavily as he threw himself onto his bed face down. The dormitory was empty. He cherished these moments, the few he stole for himself, and nearly drifted off before the door swung open and James Potter came crashing through it with a familiar gleam in his eye and a song just under his breath. Propping himself up on the pillows, he watched as his best mate floated from the door to the end of his bed, pausing once to ruffle his hair.

"Well hello, loverboy," he drawled, one eyebrow raised. James paused, then advanced on Padfoot with a flourish.

"Evans, oh Evans. Wherefore art thou Evans-"

"Fucking Christ…"

James gave a great snort of laughter before crossing the room, pulling the crumbled pack of cigarettes from his pocket as he went. He popped one in his mouth and threw one to Sirius, who accepted and joined him on the window sill.

"So what brings you to the peasants dorms?" Sirius drawled, blowing a stream of smoke out the now open window. "Lonely upstairs without me?"

"Had to come and gloat about how _mature_ Evans says I am…"

It was Sirius's turn to snort. "Come off it."

James proceeded to spend a rather lengthy five minutes circling the intimate details of his and Lily Evans's barebones conversation, which was followed by Sirius's rousing reenactment of his evening spent polishing trophies. Eventually conversation swung around to their classes and the day at large, treading carefully around the subject of Marlene McKinnon, of which both boys knew they could not avoid for long.

"So Vance joined us quite a bit today," James said lightly. Sirius shrugged.

"She's an alright distraction. Nothing serious."

"Here, here."

"What'd you think of Doggett?"

A shrug. "He's alrigh-"

"Right scared of McKinnon," Padfoot sneered, and the name dripped with venomous disdain. "As he should be, I suppose. Given her recent taste."

A heavy silence fell between them as several images passed through memory. For Sirius, a heavy wooden door, the shock of silence, a mass of blonde hair held up by a wand. For James, pink lips around the end of his… Cigarette.

He swallowed hard.

"You alright, Prongs?"

"What? Yeah, of course. You ready for Quidditch?"

And they fell haphazardly back into conversation, Padfoot and Prongs sharing smokes over sports talk. Padfoot and Prongs, and the great blonde wedge between them.

 **Say It's Not Her Fault**


	10. And The Truth Is, She Deserved It

**Alright guys I know I was doing the song thing but honestly it got too hard and girlfriend is just trying to write some Gossip Girl style Marauders fic in peace so here is this super long chapter (for me at least) that I really enjoyed writing, and setting some stuff up for future ~plot~ purposes. If all goes well this will be the fic that never ends. Sooo anyway as always reviews make my day and are extremely appreciated. Luv u**

* * *

The first weeks of the school year proceeded at the pace of a funeral march. Sirius Black wrapped his detentions after spending every night polishing trophies with a blackened rag. Peter Pettigrew expanded his Chocolate Frog card collection. Remus Lupin kept careful watch on the lunar calendar he kept beneath his bed. James Potter made his rounds with Lily Evans, avoided dark corners of the Gryffindor common room, and liberally chain smoked from the ledge of the window in his private dormitory. He was joined by a rotating wheel of Marauders. Peter and light conversation of classes, Remus clutching the lunar calendar with worry lines etched into his face, brooding Sirius Black and his recent interest in one Emmeline Vance. They'd been spending some time snogging on the grounds, and Sirius had allowed this to get around just enough for the whispering to begin.

Emmeline Vance was picking out china patterns. She wondered what exactly the Black family crest was, thought of asking Marlene McKinnon but chose to smirk to herself knowingly instead. Lily Evans plowed through piles of homework with perceived ease, made her reluctant rounds with James Potter, and occasionally took swigs from the bottle of Firewhisky she kept in her trunk while sitting on the window ledge of her private dormitory. Dorcas Meadowes had become involved with a sixth year Hufflepuff who was both cute and stupid, much to Mary McDonald's delight, as this left the Ravenclaw Dorcas had once fawned over very much available. And Marlene McKinnon…

Marlene McKinnon smoked cigarettes on the Astronomy tower after dark. She borrowed James Potter's invisibility cloak and wondered why he declined her invitations to join. She avoided Sirius Black, she ignored Emmeline Vance, and she spent time studying with Lily Evans. Her marks had never been better, and she had never been quite so bored.

It had turned into quite the dull hum. After the excitement of the first week this was a letdown to many students thirsty for dramatics. Even Slytherin/Gryffindor relations seemed to churn to a standstill. The students had fallen into their routines, pressing steadily onward. There were classes to attend, games of exploding snap to play, boys and girls to kiss in corridors.

This, of course, was interrupted by the sound of James Potter's whistle.

"Alright, alright, everyone down!" he called from his broomstick, exasperated. The Gryffindor Quidditch team groaned in unison as they shot back to Earth. It was a Thursday and the sun was beginning to set. The first game of the season dawned upon them, it was a mere week away, and the team was nowhere near ready.

"Is everyone aware that we have a match against Slytherin in seven days?" James barked once everyone's feet were on the ground. "Did we forget?"

His fellow chasers, a brilliant duo of sixth year girls, rolled their eyes and shuffled their feet. It was not to them he spoke. His seeker, Anthony Davis, pursed his lips. He would also be excluded from this narrative, as would his keeper, who audibly scoffed.

One of his beaters had dropped her bat and was aggressively winding her platinum blonde hair into a tight bun. Her face was free of makeup and streaked with sweat. The second beater glared at nothing in particular as he swung his bat in circles. James moved his gaze between them and neither of them met his eyes.

"Alright," he started briskly, "one more run, then. Everyone up!"

It started well.

Daisy McQueen, chaser, effortlessly tossed the quaffle to James, who attempted to score on Michael McLaggen and was promptly stopped. They repeated this several times with Davis weaving between them in search of the snitch. James eventually got a goal in, and when he pumped the air to celebrate and shout his critique to his keeper, there was a sickening cracking sound.

In the midst of this good sportsmanship, Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black had been firing bludgers at each other with brute force.

" _Fucking hell!_ " Sirius spat, clutching his arm at the elbow as he gripped his broom tightly between his legs. Marlene looked wickedly satisfied, though her lip appeared to be split and bleeding. The small crowd of spectators in the stands, including but not limited to Emmeline Vance, gasped. To the school, this would be recounted as Marlene McKinnon's vicious attack on the innocent Sirius Black. So innocent was Sirius, it was almost as if he hadn't spent half the practice taunting her by tossing Emmeline bedroom eyes and biting his bottom lip, and so vicious was Marlene, she whipped a bludger at him in cold blood.

James met Marlene's eyes and was confronted with casual madness.

"You're kidding," mumbled Daisy with the quaffle beneath her arm.

"Well, that's it for tonight then," McLaggen grunted.

James pretended not to hear them, instead watching as his friends headed for the ground in opposite directions.

"... Alright, good work everyone! Let's hit the showers."

Sirius landed forcefully and dismounted his broomstick. Remus came towards him from the stands instantly, offering a helping hand.

"Sod off," Sirius snarled. He ripped away from his friend and stormed towards the locker room. And Remus then stood watching Marlene with an uncharacteristic lack of sympathy. When the rest of the team had landed and headed towards the showers, Remus strode towards her.

"Did you have to do that?"

She had tucked her broomstick beneath her arm and was seething as she ripped a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of her robes. "Do what, exactly?"

"You know what I-"

"Are you referring to my self defense?" she snapped, eyes wild. She popped the cigarette between her lips and lit it with the tip of her wand, inhaling deeply. "He went for me first-"

"You _hit_ him!"

"Nothing Madam Pomfrey can't fix, don't get your panties in a bunch."

Remus eyed her with careful disgust. He looked as if he might say something particularly hurtful but decided against it, swallowed it hard and turned away from her in search of Sirius. Emmeline Vance had come running down the stands and suddenly she was on the pitch facing Marlene, red in the face.

"You- _ **YOU**_ -"

It happened very quickly.

The wands were drawn before James could intervene.

"Come to defend your _**boyfriend**_?" Marlene taunted and Emmeline seethed before her.

"You're just _**jealous**_ -"

And Marlene laughed, a crazy sound. "You can have him!"

"I _**will**_ have him!"

This seemed to strike Marlene, though she refused to back down. Her wand hand quivered the smallest bit. Emmeline grinned, triumphant, the end of her wand inches away from the tip of Marlene's ski slope nose. James had eased towards them, intending to direct their wands to the ground, and found himself just close enough to hear Emmeline's next murderous line.

"Bet you're missing Professor Lovell," she whispered harshly, "bet you're missing all those long talks…"

" _ **Shut your mouth, Vance**_."

Marlene's cigarette lay smoldering at her feet. She did not remove her eyes from her opponent, though she had begun to violently shake.

"What did Sirius say when he found you, Marlene?" Emmeline went on in that same vicious tone, barely above a whisper, only for James and Marlene to hear. "What did he say when he saw you with your legs open on that desk-"

James's jaw dropped at the brazenness of this. Marlene tossed her wand to the ground and promptly tackled Emmeline Vance, knocking her backwards as her fists flew into every inch of the girl she could reach. Emmeline was screaming, Marlene was blinded by rage, and James found himself wrapping his arms around the blonde's middle and yanking her away. In the middle of this, Marlene's perfect peach of an ass happened to rub against him in a way that reminded him very clearly of the floor of his broomshed and he cursed himself yet again. The small crowd that had gathered to watch Gryffindor Quidditch practice was now watching the fight with even greater interest.

" _ **GET OFF, POTTER!**_ " Marlene roared, legs flailing as she fought against him. Emmeline spat blood onto the pitch with a small sob. James grunted as he effectively removed Marlene from the scene, promptly dropping her directly on her ass at the opposite end of the pitch.

"I swear to Merlin," he seethed as she attempted to collect herself, brushing her matted hair from her forehead, "I swear to _**Godric Gryffindor himself if you pull this shit one more ti**_ -"

"Potter! McKinnon!"

They had been joined by Professor McGonagall, and by the looks of it, she was not amused.

….

"Never, in all my years-"

And as McGonagall launched into yet another scalding tirade, Marlene McKinnon, James Potter and Emmeline Vance faced in opposite directions, each wearing a varying expression of displeasure. They sat in a row in their head of house's office, awaiting execution.

"-suspended from the match-"

"What?!" yelped Marlene and James simultaneously as Emmeline settled into smugness. McGonagall's arms were crossed over her chest. She grimaced down at Marlene, who had dried blood on her knuckles.

"Miss McKinnon will be suspended from the match," she said. A flush grew in Marlene's cheeks. She attempted in vain to form an argument and was silenced by James's quiet tension. "And she will join Miss Vance in detention every Saturday morning for the next month…."

Emmeline immediately began to defend herself and was silenced by one stare. There was steam rising from the top of James's head.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall began, turning to face the boy. "Your efforts to intervene are appreciated."

He was surprised by this, typically being the brunt of punishment.

"If Miss Vance does not require Madam Pomfrey's attention you may escort her back to the dormitory. I would like a word with Miss McKinnon privately."

"Yes, Professor," he mumbled as he got to his feet. He motioned for Emmeline to join him and they were gone, leaving Marlene to brew in her self hatred in the center chair.

"You would do well," Professor McGonagall began in a low tone once she was positive the other students were out of earshot, "to remember that your position on this team is a privilege after last year's incident."

The blonde was silent.

"If you step out of line again I will be forced to remove you indefinitely."

She nodded, throat tight.

"Do not force me to punish your team for your own foolishness," she finished briskly. "That will be all. You may return to your dormitory."

Marlene McKinnon stood with legs like jelly and removed herself from the room. She considered her bed, remembered the room she shared with Emmeline Vance, and decided to turn instead to the Astronomy tower, where the smoke and the stars would clear her mind.

….

The walk back to the dormitory was entirely silent save for Emmeline's occasional sniffle. James clenched his fists, eyes trained on the floor. When they reached the common room, they crawled through the portrait hole to a starkly quiet room full of people who had clearly heard what had happened down on the pitch. James spotted his fellow Marauders (minus Sirius, who was presumably in the hospital wing) eyeing him from a group of particularly comfortable chairs and ignored them, instead storming up to his dormitory. Emmeline was welcomed into a crowd of sympathetic, gossip hungry girls. They collapsed into hurried, hushed talk of Marlene McKinnon's fists of fury. Emmeline recounted this with a dramatic flair that captivated her audience. Remus, eavesdropping, rolled his eyes and motioned to Peter to follow him up the stairs to one James Potter's bedroom, where they found him pacing with an unlit cigarette between his lips. They let themselves in without knocking and took position on the floor and the bed, respectively.

"McGonagall suspended her," he spat. "She went and got herself suspended for the first game. It's in a bloody _week_ and I've got to replace my best beater-"

"Don't say that in front of Sirius," Peter said darkly. James ignored him, one hand twisted in his hair as he paced on.

"I hate when she does this…"

"What? Beat the shit out of people?" Remus asked dryly as he rested his chin in his palm. "Quite unbecoming…"

"She's….She's just…"

"Violent?"

"Terrifying?"

James sighed. "Infuriating."

"You had to have known it wouldn't go well," said Remus the diplomat.

"I thought maybe they'd just ignore each other," James, helpless, spluttered as he gestured wildly. The truth of the matter was from the moment he saw Emmeline Vance take a spectator's seat in the stands he anticipated nothing less than a brawl. It was only when both Sirius and Marlene had taken note of her presence that their frosty faux indifference morphed into war. The weeks leading up to practice had been perfectly cold. There was no semblance of communication between them. They starkly avoided eye contact, they refused to mention each other in passing. The Marauders knew, of course, this could only go on for so long.

"When do you think they'll get back together?"

James snorted. Peter's question hung unanswered as he finally lit his cigarette and plopped down on the window ledge.

"I don't know if that's a possibility this time, Wormy," Remus said.

Separately, they recalled fonder times when an explosive fight between Sirius and Marlene would be resolved with a quick, aggressive snog.

"I can't take seeing them like this," Peter said sadly with a shake of his head. "It's like divorced parents…"

James took a deep drag on his cigarette. Remus and Peter folded into a conversation about Marlene's left hook, and he thought of her, undoubtedly at the top of the Astronomy tower.

Maybe…

Quickly, he tossed the half smoked cigarette from the window, crossed the room and flipped open his trunk to retrieve his invisibility cloak. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"And where are you going?"

"To talk to Marlene."

Alarm. "Alone?"

Wormtail looked between Prongs and Moony, confused.

"Don't worry, I've got a hang on it."

"A hang on what?"

They proceeded to ignore Peter.

"You're sure?"

"Guys!" Peter whined.

James gave a slight smile as he pulled the cloak around himself. "Don't wait up."

….

"I was expecting you."

Marlene McKinnon, cigarette between her fingers, sat with her legs dangling over the side of the castle. She watched James Potter's body appear as he swept the cloak off and joined her, keeping a careful distance. They sat in silence for a moment. He lit a cigarette. She lit another.

"So, suspended for the first match."

She winced. "Spare me your disappointment."

"I think you'll punish yourself enough just fine," he mused, staring up at the stars. "Sirius is in the hospital wing, if you were wondering."

"I wasn't."

They were both aware that she very much was.

He let her lie.

"And Emmeline?"

He was surprised she even bothered to ask.

"She'll survive," James shrugged. Marlene allowed herself a soft laugh, and they fell into silence again.

"You've been avoiding me," she began after a beat and he tensed slightly. _I've got a hang on it_ , he thought to himself.

"Well I can't go around fraternizing with the enemy."

"Ah," she nodded. "Of course."

He suddenly couldn't recall why he'd joined her on the tower. The original plan had been to talk some sense into her as only he could, though that seemed to be drifting further and further out of sight with every twitch of her lip. She stared out at the grounds, bathed in pitch black, and sighed.

"Sometimes I think about jumping."

She said it conversationally, thoughtfully. His eyebrows raised and he waited for her to continue, to correct herself.

"After everything that happened. Lovell, Sirius…" She trailed off. "I thought about jumping."

He wasn't sure what to say, and so he smoked.

"I thought about it tonight," she said, turning to him. "And then you showed up."

He met her eyes, the familiar churning tide, and he saw her hurt, etched into every line of her delicate features.

"I've got no one, James."

"That's not.. That's not true."

She laughed but it was hollow, empty. "Who've I got then? Mary, Dorcas? Emmeline Vance?"

He grimaced.

"If it wasn't for Evans I'd be entirely alone."

He would be lying if he didn't admit he'd noticed Marlene and Lily's strengthening friendship. It petrified him.

"I used to have you."

She said this while staring unflinchingly into his eyes. He felt a wave of guilt crash over him.

"But you can't be seen with the enemy," she muttered, her voice dipping dangerously low, her eyes falling to his lips. "Merlin forbid."

He cleared his throat and this seemed to wake her. Her attention snapped back to the sky, her cigarette, the intention to jump.

"I'll be down soon."

He smiled weakly. "You won't be jumping, will you?"

She glanced over at him. "Not today."

...

It was around three am when Marlene McKinnon decided to seduce James Potter, having laid awake replaying the events of her life thus far behind her tightly shut eyes. She'd returned to the dormitory late and relieved to see everyone was asleep, leaving her to her thoughts. It would be no easy feat, this she knew, having experienced first hand his loyalty to his friends, specifically in the case of one Sirius Black. Speaking of Sirius, she saw him in her mind's eye with his arm tossed carelessly around Emmeline Vance's shoulders and satisfied herself with the imagery of directing another bludger into his well defined jaw. She wanted to make him hurt how he'd hurt her, make his gut twist… And, well, if they were going to call her a tart she may as well live up to their expectations.

Gentle snoring surrounded her on all sides as she drifted back to Sirius Black. They'd been good together in their time. She missed, above all, his lips on her collarbones.. His hand on the small of her back. She cursed him, the good looking sod, and bit down on her lip as her thoughts revolved around him hazily. There had been that time on the train when he'd dragged her into the loo, hoisted her up on the sink and traced his fingers along the outside of her panties until she cried out, muffled into his shoulder, and he'd laughed and laughed and laughed….

In the darkness of the dormitory, with the curtains of her four poster bed drawn around her, she dipped a hand into her sweatpants and pretended it was his. Those feathery circles he drew on her flesh, expertly kneading, pushing one finger inside her at random.. She groaned, replicating him. She knew every intricacy of his touch. Sirius Black with his forked tongue sucking on her earlobe, his hand between her thighs effortless. He would tug down her top, expose her, wrap his lips around her and slowly scrape his teeth against her… Tantalizing. Marlene, remembering this, sighed, working at her core with one hand and occupying the other with her chest.

" _S..Sirius…_ "

And when it was finally time, when he'd teased her to the brink, he would toss open her legs and push inside her, bury his face in her shoulder and fill her and her eyes would roll to the back of her head as he relentlessly bore down on her and she saw this, all of this, in her mind, that day in the loo on the train until the image warped and Sirius Black was James Potter. She could feel the dirt floor of his broomshed underneath her. James Potter with his head between her thighs and his glasses all fogged up and her hands in his mussed hair. James Potter breaking away to kiss her and the sweetness on his lips, she could feel him against her bare thigh and in the distance his mother called them for dinner but they couldn't hear, they writhed against each other underneath a web of Quidditch gear and he took her against the dirt time and time again, until that day on the train in the loo…

Gasping, she snapped back to the dormitory as she promptly finished herself off. She laid still for a moment, collecting her bearings, before she silently stood and procured her cigarettes. It wasn't until she was long gone that Emmeline Vance sat up in her bed.

"Did anyone hear that?" she called quietly into the dark room. There was a rustling sound, and Dorcas Meadowes appeared from behind the curtains around her bed, her hair in rollers.

"Did she just…."

"That was _loud_ ," Emmeline whispered. Dorcas nodded.

"For the love of Merlin use a muffliato next time…."

"Did you hear her say it?"

"Say _what_?" Dorcas hissed. "I just heard the _moaning_ …."

With a hand clutched over her chest, Emmeline performed an excellent imitation of their roommate calling Sirius Black's name into the night.

"Did she really?"

"I heard her!"

"What in the world are you two talking about," Mary groaned.

"Marlene just tickled her kitten without a care in the world-"

Dorcas snorted.

"Well," Mary sighed from behind her curtains, "they do call her a tart."

"I'll tell you right now, Sirius wants nothing to do with her," Emmeline quipped, matter-of-fact as always. "Not after what she did. And today alone…."

The girls murmured in agreement.

"Can't blame him…"

"I felt so bad for him last year," Dorcas yawned. "When it all happened."

"I have to sleep. I have to," Mary groaned. "Good night, girls."

Even as silence and the peacefulness of sleep washed over the dorm, Emmeline Vance lay awake with her split lip, grinning.

….

Lily Evans woke with a start, beads of sweat forming at her hairline. She wasn't yet used to having a room all to herself and was grateful when she realized she was free to exhale loudly. She'd been having recurring dreams about being hexed in the corridor, square between her shoulders, and James Potter…. James Potter stepping in to save her, to duel for her honor. She could die from the thought of it.

She would like very much to never admit that she had begun to enjoy their rounds together. He was a good conversationalist, witty and smart, full of surprises. She thought of the two way mirror. She thought of the other night, when he'd snuck them into the kitchens. She wondered how he seemingly knew every secret of the school. She wondered if he knew that she was growing to enjoy his company, though she still did her best to ignore him in class. She'd breezed by him in Transfiguration that morning only to glance back over her shoulder and see him grin at her, incline his head in her general direction beside Sirius Black, who rolled his eyes. And maybe she hadn't noticed before, the broadness of his shoulders, the tan to his skin, and maybe she liked it.

Maybe she liked him.

" _Ugh_ ," she groaned, hands clapped to her forehead, but his face swam before her eyes and she tried to replace the thought of him with the perfectly nice Ravenclaw boy who would be taking her on the first Hogsmeade trip in two weeks time. Against her will, her thoughts drifted to who James Potter would be accompanying to Hogsmeade, with Sirius Black wrapped around Emmeline Vance every chance he could get surely James would also have a date planned. Heat was churning in the pit of her stomach, and she tried to ignore the shame that flooded over her as she thought of him.

But maybe she liked it.

Maybe.


End file.
